追问幸福(On Happiness）

追问幸福

On Happiness

作者：梦游人 Day Dreamer

上大学后，我忽然开始思考，活着是为了什么？

于是我跑去问我心目中最有智慧的人——我爹，他的回答竟然只有两个字：幸福，然后就再也讲不出其他，空留下我一个人在宿舍开启自问自答无限循环模式。

婚礼上，主持人隆重地恭祝我新婚“幸福”，这词一蹦出来就轻松将我我早年的茫然无措重启。

生日时，孩子稚嫩的童声哇哇地喊道妈妈你要永远“幸福”，搞得我惊喜之余又不自觉地开始反思人生。

幸福吖幸福，你究竟是什么呢？这些年我一直在苦苦求索。

The first time I began to think about the meaning of life was when I went to college.

I sought help from my father, the person I assumed to be the most intelligent one. His answer was only one word: happiness, which had no explanation, leaving me alone thinking in the dormitory and asking myself again and again what the hell happiness is?

The time flied and my wedding came, the host solemnly announced my "happiness", which restarted the confusion in my early years once again.

On birthday, my child's young voice shouted that Mom you will always be "happy", which surprised me but made me unconsciously began to reflect on life.

Oh my dear, what the hell is happiness? I've been struggling all these years to know you.

无意翻看手机日历，发现今天竟然是白露，这个时节鸿雁与燕子等候鸟都会南飞避寒，而百鸟们则开始贮存干果粮食以备过冬，农民也忙着收获庄稼，正所谓“抢秋抢秋，不抢就丢”。

赶上这么一个忙叨收获的时节，我忽然觉得可以应个景，来个“抢福抢福，不抢就丢”，好好梳理梳理我这些年关于幸福的追问。

While tipping through my phone, I happened to find that today is White Dew. During the White Dew Time, migratory birds such as geese and swallows will fly to the warm south, while hundreds of birds begin to store dried fruit and grain for the winter. Farmers are also busy harvesting crops. It is the so-called "busy autumn, busy autumn, no hurry no gains".

In such a busy harvest time, I felt compelled to write something about happiness as a summative thinking，which would give a similar White Dew scene like“ busy thinking, busy thinking, no hurry no gains”.

经过多番打探四处搜寻，我发现，从世俗意义上看，幸福就是梦想得以实现的人生。还有一个更普适更高阶的抽象版本，即“幸福是人的目的性自由实现的主体生活状态。”

这个抽象定义包含两个要点。

第一点就是“目的性”。意思是如果你追求幸福，你就必须有自己的人生梦想，有属于你自己的关于事业或生活等方面有意义的、真实的人生目标。

没有目标的人生就会不幸福？这听起来似乎有些功利，在这个流行“佛系”的时代显得不那么理所当然。我们都知道“求而不得”是人生最大的苦，所以现在很多人会认为避免苦难的方法就是放弃追求。

After a series of learning, I got a definition as happiness is a life in which dreams can be realized. There is also a more general and abstract version, that is, "happiness is the a living state in which one can realize his or her purpose freely".

This abstract definition contains two main points.

The first point is about "purpose". It means that if you pursue happiness, you must have your own life dream and have your own meaningful and real life goals about career or life.

Life without goals will lead to unhappy? This sounds like some utilitarian, and such a view is not taken for granted in this era as many people prefer easy life. We all know that "seeking but can not get" is the greatest pain in life, and that's why some people choose to give up their pursuit to avoid suffering.

但稍微推敲一下就会发现这种“躺平”的选择并不明智，因为当一个人没有方向时，所有方向吹来的风都会是逆风。作为一个整段时间待业在家的全职妈妈更是能深切体会，不被赋予意义的人生终将被无聊、空虚与乏味湮灭。

还有人说，人类所求本就毫无意义，人生从来不过虚无。

显然，并非所有的目标都值得追求，哪些是，哪些不是，一个人很快就能学会。但如果简单粗暴地把世间男女的所作所为都归为徒劳无功，就绝对是无稽之谈了。这种观点抹杀所有成就的动机，并直接否认人类尊严的存在。

事实上，即便是存在主义哲学家也并没有抹杀掉人类奋斗的意义。

加缪指出，生命本来就没有意义，就像西西弗斯一样一遍一遍地推一块必然会滚落的石头。但是正是我们的坚持不放弃证明我们没有被虚无所击垮，人类依旧保持着昂扬的斗志，这本身就是对虚无的最好反抗，故而西西弗斯是幸福的。

But it's easy to pick out the problems of giving up. As a saying goes, if you have no direction, the wind in all directions will be against you. As a mother once unemployed, I understand this feeling. A life without meaning will eventually be swallowed by boredom and emptiness.

Some people say that what human beings pursue is meaningless, and life has always been nothingness.

Not all ambition, obviously, is worth cultivating. Which are and which are not is something one soon enough learns on one's own. But it is nonsense to simply take views that men and women are useless. Such views are destined to remove all motives for competence, interest in attainment, and regard for posterity. And all these implications are nothing but denial of human dignity.

In fact, even existentialist philosophers did not deny the significance of human struggle.

Albert Camus pointed out that life is meaningless, just like Sisyphus, pushing a stone that is bound to fall over and over again. But it is our insistence on not giving up that proves that we have not been defeated by nothingness, and mankind still maintains high fighting spirit, which itself is the best resistance to nothingness, so Sisyphus is happy.

有意思的是，有些人援引专家学者的观点反驳“目的性”。比如教育界杜威的“教育无目的”论，心理学家米哈尔在《心流》一书中关于“直接去找幸福反而不会找到”之类的观点。

我翻出杜威的著作和米哈尔《心流》一书仔细阅读，发现这帮人不过是断章取义。学者们所说的“无目的”并非真正的无目的。杜威的“教育无目的”理论说，教育除了它自身外没有其他目的。可是杜威也说，教育即社会生活，教育即生长，教育即生活，即经验的持续不断的改善，如此这般，教育都包含一切了，教育自然除了自身外再找不到其他目的了。而米哈尔的真实意思是幸福无法通过设立“幸福”这个直接目标去求得，要通过“不计较好坏、全身心投入生活的每一个细节”去追求。

What’s interesting is that some people cited the opinions of scholars to refute "purpose". For example, John Dewey’s "education has no purpose", and psychologist Michal's views in the book "Flow The Psychology of Optimal Experience ", which says "one can never get happiness if he or she set it as the direct goal" and so on.

Thus I read the books of John Dewey and Michal carefully and found where the problem lied.The so-called "no purpuse" is not true. In Dewey's theory, education is social life, education is growth, education is the continuous improvement of experience, then naturally the education had no other purpose but itself. Michal also did not deny happiness itself but pointed out the way to achieve happiness can not be setting the direct goal of happiness, but should be "regardless of good or bad, devote yourself to every detail of life".

诚然，幸福与幸福是不同的，这种差异有时候更甚于幸福与不幸。因为每个人的社会关系、成长背景不同，所以每个人背负的责任、承担的期望便不同，因为每个人的经历、天赋亦各不相同，所以每个人的热情所在以及个人追求也不会相同。

可虽有这“所求的”种种不同，人生对于“目的性”追求却应该是一致的。因为没有了目的与方向，失去了期盼与希望，人们自然也就失去了幸福的源泉。

Happiness is different from happiness, and sometimes the difference is even greater than happiness and misfortune. Everyone bears different responsibilities and expectations because everyone has different social relations and growth backgrounds. No one's enthusiasm and pursuit will be exactly the same because no one has the same experience and talent.

Despite all these differences, the pursuit of "purpose" in life should be the same. If there is no purpose and direction, no hope and pursuit, people would lose the source of happiness.

第二点是“自由实现”，即心想事成、梦想成真。这是一种理想的生活境遇。

显然，这种理想境遇是难得的、短暂的。正如法国哲学家阿兰《论幸福》一书中所说，幸福与恐惧、烦恼并存，不幸与憧憬、希望同在。

这段幸福辩证法听起来相当正确又让人感到有那么点沮丧。

好在我又找到了一种关于幸福的官方定义，现代汉语词典释义指出，幸福是使人心情舒畅的境遇和生活。

境遇与生活是客观环境，是条件；而心情却是主观感受，是目的。因此很大程度上，“幸福感”才是真正的幸福。

美国管理心理学家史华兹曾论断：“所有的坏事情，只有在我们认为它是不好的情况下，才会真正成为不幸事件。”这个论断揭示了一个常识，用积极乐观的态度面对生活，更容易收获幸福。

心理学上还有一个“幸福递减”的观点，就是“得到的越多，感受到的幸福就越少。”网络上有个段子描述得很生动：以前的人只有一个烦恼，那就是生存。现代人解决了生存问题，却有了无数的烦恼。

The second point is "free realization", that is, everything you want comes true and your dreams are all realized. This is an ideal life situation.

This ideal situation is, obviously, rare and short-lived. As the French philosopher Alan said in his book , happiness coexists with fear and trouble, and misfortune coexists with longing and hope.

This dialectic of happiness sounds quite correct and a little frustrating.

But there was another official definition of happiness. The Chinese Dictionary points out that happiness is a situation or life in which people feel comfortable and satisfied .

Environments are only objective conditions, but the subjective feelings are the real purpose. So happiness depends more on how you feel rather than what situation you are in.

"All bad things will become unfortunate events only when we think they are bad", American management psychologist Schwartz once said. This sentence reveals a common sense that it is easier to harvest happiness with a positive and optimistic attitude towards life.

There is also a "diminishing happiness" view in psychology, that is, "the more you get, the less happiness you feel." A joke vividly described this : people in the past only worry about survival., but modern people have countless troubles after solving the problem of survival.

所以，很多时候人们感到不幸福，并不是因为生活真的有多么糟糕，只是内心失去了对幸福的感受力。反过来说，如果你对幸福没有感受力，那么无论你拥有多少，你都无法幸福。古罗马哲学家塞涅卡把这个道理演绎到了极致，他说：“如果你不能对现在的一切感到满足，那么，纵使你拥有全世界，你也不会幸福。”

至此，关于幸福，我终于明了。幸福就是既能入世寻得价值感尊严感，又能出世做到坦然与超脱；既有梦想有追求有事干，又想得开不消极不纠缠。

In such a logic, you can know that many people feel unhappy not because of how bad their life is, but because they lose their sense of happiness. Conversely, if one can't feel happy, no matter how much he or she has, there would be no happiness. The ancient Roman philosopher Seneca deduced this truth to the extreme. He said, "if you can't be satisfied with what you have now, you won't be happy even if you have owned the world".

The concept of happiness is finally clear to me. Happiness means a sense of value and dignity while making contributions and a state of calmness and detachness while being defeated and frustrated. Happiness definitely needs dream and pursuit, but optimastic attitude and thinking way are also necessary.