a conversation requires a balance between talking and listening。
The kind of convernsation where you walk away feeling engaged and inspired,or where you feel like you've made a real connection or you've been perfectly understood 完整的
1、Don't multitask
be present ,在当下，be in that moment 进入那个情境中去，don't be half in it and half out it不要身在曹营心在汉
2、Don't pontificate 不要好为人师
True listening requires a setting aside of oneself.真正的聆听需要把自己放在一边
by M.Scott Peck 著名治疗师（the famed therapist）
Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don't 每一个你将要见到的人都有你不知道的东西-By Bill Nye比尔*奈伊
Everybody is an expert in sth.每个人在某个领域都是专家
3、Use open-ended questions使用开放式问题
多使用who what when where why how进行提问
比如How was it feel ？给对方时间去思考，可能对得到更有趣的答案，而不是简单的问答题，可能一个丰富的问题得到的是简单的yes或no。如你恐惧吗？
4、Go with the flow顺其自然
有想法就要表达出去，专心听对方说话
5、If you don't know, say that you don't know.
Err on the side of caution谨言慎行
talk should not be cheap谈话应该是负责任的杏仁
要对自己说出去的每一句话负责，尤其是在某一领域算是专业的人
6、Don't equate your enperience with theirs不要把自己的经历和他人比较
If they're talking about having lost a family member,don't start talking about the time you lost a family member;
If they're talking about the trouble they're having at work,don;t tell them about how much you hate your job.
All experiences are individual. It's not and never the same.
sb asked Stephen Hawking once what his IQ was, and he said,"I have no idea.Pelple who brag about theire IQs are losers."
Conversations are not a promotional opportunity交流不是用来推销自己的
7、Try not to repeat yourself.
Especially in work conversations or in conversations with our kids.we have a point to make ,so we just keep rephrasing it over and over
8、Stay out of the weeds
Frankly ,people don't care the year、name all those details that you're strugging to come up with in your mind, they care about you.What you're like你是什么样的人，what you have in common
9、listen
If your mouth is open, you're not learning.
No man ever listened his way out of a job——Calvin Coolidge 卡尔文 柯立芝 从没有人是因为听太多而被开除的
Most of us don't listen with the intent to undestand,we listen with the intent to reply大多数不是为了理解而听，而是为了回应而听——Stephen Covey
10、 Be Brief
A good conversation is like a miniskirt, short enough to retain interest but long enough to cover the subject.足够短但吸引人，又足够长能盖住主体
感悟：讲师Celeste Headlee本身是一名主持人，也是记者，演讲时长11分钟，语言幽默又轻松，很多处引得观众哈哈大笑。如何交流，也是教人如何说话，我最近的感悟是，因为语言能力的原因，有的时候很想和同事聊天，但工作节奏不减慢，有想说的话，想问的问题，但都因为怕影响工作速度而选择沉默，有的时候寒暄的话就是周末过得好吗，早上好之类的。和说华语的同事又不一样了，我们可以聊很多事情，尽管工作环境中噪音很大，但是机械的流水线工作，度秒如年，有的时候相互之间引得一个话题相互聊着，时间一晃就过去，而且也可以拉近同事之间的距离。
每个人都有自己的故事，想听故事的话，需要一个好的环境，倒一杯酒，准备点小菜，坐下慢慢聊。工作时候的聊天大多是为了打发时间，且因为噪音的关系，聊不了多少。如何说话，如何倾听。很多技巧在教，但这个视频的10个小点直接明了，易理解，实操性也很强。
