TOEFL Writing Practice 001

Which one do you prefer - the exercise one or the sample from the internet?

Your advice and comments are highly appreciated :)



Topic: 

The best leader should spend more time listening to other people’s ideas than taking his/her own ideas.

Exercise:

I believe that nobody would object to the idea that learning to pick up others' piece of brain is an essential trait towards the path of rising to be a brilliant leader. But should excellent pioneers weigh more on others' opinions over his or her own one? I don't think so. 

First, we need to know a common sense here - no matter how great the think tank a leader holds and how seemingly promising and effective strategy it makes, it is, in the end, the leader who hammers out the next step. And why a  leader could the head of a team? That is because he or she is capable of making a reasonable and workable decision in the interest of both the whole and the individual. Therefore, even though consuming other people's thought is a must-step, leaders should take the responsibility and seal the deal by his or her own. Otherwise, the question that pops out in every staff's mind would be 'if he or she is really a qualified guy to run the business," and "which company should I jump into right now?" after their dear boss make the company end up in a hot water by putting the staff's idea into use and refuse to take the obligations afterwards.

In addition,  as a leader, one must know better about the back and front of the whole team which provides he or she a better position to make an all-round decision for the all. No body could deny the fact that for all the workers work in the same place, for the same goal, however, about 99% of which are only familiar with their own department's business, getting the work done from 9 a.m, to 5 p.m. every day behind the same desk. So It is natural that the leaders have more comprehensive updates about the company and business. Then without a shred of doubt, it is the leaders job to get this specific work done.

Last but not least. it is true that getting insight from the opposite mind is definitely an indispensable constituent of a leader's daily schedule. But that doesn't mean it is an indispensable part of a leader's final decisions. More power naturally leads to more responsibilities and more obligations. Just as the saying goes: " One who wants the crown, bears the crown."

words: 391

Sample:

History remembers great leaders-kings, presidents, CEOs, and the like- largely for the decision they make. However, what we often forget is that these decisions are rarely made alone-- leaders will often rely on the help pf others when weighing their options. While some leaders may prefer to male decisions alone, I think the most effective ones will involve others in the decision-making process.

Firstly, letting others participate in the process creates stronger bonds and more trust between the leader and the rest of the group. When others in the group are brought into the decision-making process, they will feel more essential to the group’s success. This will engender a stronger sense of camaraderie and belonging, and subsequently, will lead them to work harder to see their group succeed at their task. Also, they will gain some insight into how the leader makes his or her decisions. This will make the leaders decisions seem less mysterious or arbitrary. The group will come to trust the leader’s decisions more in the future--even when they are not part of the decision-making process.

Secondly, a leader must attend to many things that demand his or her attention, and making so many judgment calls without the aid of others can be extremely tiring. In fact, studies have shown that the act of decision-making actually fatigues the brain, and that the people can only make a limited number of decisions per day before mental performance stars to be made. This is why people often agree to add needless and expensive options to a new car purchase at the car leadership-- after hours of haggling with sly car salesman over the details of a purchase, they are sapped of all their decision-making sense, and suddenly adding an expensive package to your purchase might not seem like such a bad idea. For the same reason, leaders should involve others when making decisions so that they stay sharp for as long as possible.

Finally, when leaders have others involved in the decision-making process, they have people to double -check the quality of their decisions. This is related to the above point about decision fatigue--since leaders usually make the most decisions out of anyone in the group,they will inevitably make a bad decision once in a while. No leader will be working at 100% efficiency all the time. However, if a leader can rely on others to set him or her straight, then it is okay if he or she slips up once in a while because others can point out the problem and set the leader back on the right course. So involving others in the decision-making process not only helps leader prevent fatigue-induced errors, but it also minimizes the damage when these errors do occur.

words: 461

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