Today, I woke up to find both of my bank accounts frozen. My bank informed me that the IRS had ordered a freeze on my assets because of back taxes owed, and would not unfreeze them until the money is paid. The amount? $2.47. FML
国税局冻结了我的银行账号，因为老子欠了他们2块四毛七的税，真是日了狗了。FML
Today, after 4 months working at my job, everyone including the new intern has a lunch buddy or lunch group, except for me. My lunch partners are books. FML
终于明白为什么说书是人类最好的朋友了，到单位上班四个月了，现在每个人，就连实习生都有人一起吃饭，除了我。现在每天吃饭的时候都带本书FML
Today, my cat has taken it upon herself to provide for the heavily pregnant lady. So far I've been presented with a mouse and 3 birds. I know they're for me because she meows until I see them, then walks away again. FML
我觉着我们家的猫成精了，我怀孕了，然后我们家猫觉着应该给我储备食物，真的是食物，到目前为止，它给我送过来一只老鼠和三只麻雀。FML
Today, as well as for the past week, my cat finds immeasurable joy in knocking eggs of the counter and staring at me as I clean the mess. FML
我们家猫现在特别喜欢看我收拾厨房，为了看我厨房每天它都要在厨房里搞碎一个鸡蛋 ，等等，哪儿来的鸡蛋啊，FML
Today, at work, it was so windy that it started taking the door off its hinges. The door now won't close all the way. I can't leave until someone comes to fix it. FML
天冷风大，此为前提，我们门店的门是那种用铰链拉的，结果今天风太大了，铰链给从门上吹下来了，现在我正在狂风中瑟瑟发抖的等人来修。FML
Today, after sweeping up a spill, I managed to break the cupboard door. With my head. FML
今天给干门上了，碗柜漏水，哥们给整好了，起来的时候有点儿急，一下子干柜子门上了，到现在眼睛都是星星。 FML
Today, the ex-lecturer who I had a crush on invited me out to watch an orchestra performance with him. It got increasingly awkward as time passed, and he ran out on me during the intermission. FML
你的人生，我不懂。今天我上学的时候暗恋的讲师邀请我一起去看一场乐队的表演，本来是挺美好的一件事情，结果中场休息的时候他自己偷偷跑掉了 FML
