被闷的透不过气。
写一写比较沉重的话题。似乎，字里行间一直没有轻松过。为何你总是那么的压抑。长期压抑会生病，但自愈总是要时间吧。
曾经那个画面依稀记得，那个外国女人，狰狞的面目，满口的“shit，fuck”......这是被服务的第三位客人吧。大概真的是被灼伤了，要知道那可是十指连心，指甲被电动的金属头打到，肯定是特别的痛，才会引起她那样的面孔。是被伤到了。确实是被痛到了。
事情已经过去了近六年，在那样的华丽商场，在那天，人来人往，像极了一个小丑，被指着额头骂了两句。是不小心，确实是，但技术不过关就敢上前去给陌生的客人做指甲，那要有多大的勇气呢。不是被生活所迫，谁都不会去做那样的工作吧。时隔六年，再次想起，心依旧是拧巴的，内疚的，只记得一直在说“sorry，sorry，sorry”，可是它代替不了那个痛啊。
活在一个世界里，一个不被别人知道，一个自我的世界里，不是多么的纯洁高尚，也不是多么的自私无知；只是这个世界，是你多年的累积，是你多年形成的一种心理模式。
不被谈起，无从谈起，每个人都会有那样的一块地方吧。细腻到不知道怎么去面对。
感情这个东西真的让人捉摸不透。有人可以拿捏的恰到好处，表现的谈定从容，而有的人却无从下手就被它整的面目全非。我想我就是后者。
这么多年来，我似乎一直以一个旁观者的视角在生活，就自己的各种事情，各种场合也是以一个旁观者的感情在处理，没有痛彻心扉，没有歇斯底里，没有真正的投入而感到真实的轻松和快乐。或许，每个人对快乐和轻松的定义也不一样吧。
这样的行事态度，这么多年的经历，让我此刻醒悟到了，确实会伤害到了很多人，被自己无视的人和事，反过来，你一样也被无视了。若是感觉被伤害了，那一定是有错在先。
这样的逻辑，不管对与不对，自己本身的经历已经验证了：你没有全身心的投入，那么最后你也不会有确确实实的感官和收获。
Karma 因果报应
Being bored and suffocating.
Write a more heavy topic. It seems that there has been no easy relationship between the lines. Why are you always so depressed? Long-term depression will get sick, but self-healing always takes time.
Once the picture was vaguely remembered, the foreign woman, the face of the sly, the mouthful of "shit, fuck"... This is the third guest to be served. Probably it was really burned. I have to know that it is a ten-finger heart. The nail is hit by an electric metal head. It must be a special pain, which will cause her face. It was hurt. It is indeed painful.
Things have passed for nearly six years. In such a gorgeous shopping mall, on that day, people came and went, like a clown, and was pointed at the forehead and sighed two sentences. It’s not careful, it’s true, but the technology is too close to dare to go to the stranger to make nails, how much courage it is. Not forced by life, no one will do that kind of work. After a lapse of six years, I remembered again, my heart is still twisted, guilty, just remember to say "sorry, sorry, sorry", but it can not replace the pain.
Living in a world, one is not known to others, in a world of self, not how pure and noble, nor how selfish and ignorant; just this world, is your accumulation for many years, is a psychological model that you have formed for many years. .
If you don't talk about it, you can't talk about it. Everyone will have such a place. Exquisite to not know how to face.
The feelings of this thing are really unpredictable. Some people can take care of it just right, the performance of the talk is calm, and some people have no way to start it is completely unrecognizable. I think I am the latter.
Over the years, I seem to have lived from the perspective of a bystander. I have dealt with all kinds of things, various occasions, and the feelings of a bystander. I have no pain, no hysteria, no real investment. Really relaxed and happy. Perhaps everyone has a different definition of happiness and ease.
This kind of behavior, so many years of experience, let me wake up at this moment, it will indeed hurt a lot of people, people and things that are ignored by themselves, in turn, you are also ignored. If it feels hurt, it must be wrong.
This kind of logic, whether right or wrong, has proven itself: you don't have the wholehearted input, then in the end you won't have real senses and gains.
