这段时间总是做差不多的梦 梦里一开始的我们总是那么美好 后面却总会发生各种各样不好的事情 我能清楚的记得有人一直牵着我的手 安慰我 可是我却一直看不清他的脸 以致于每天醒来都特别的失落 最近特别地不开心 说不清是对现实还是梦境 就是觉得难受 一个人静下来听歌看电影都会格外的悲伤

那天跟姐姐讲了三个钟的电话 第一次这么真切地知道她那段感情 也第一次明白她有多么的不容易 我一直以为她当初应该是恨的 没想到更多的惋惜和无奈 反过来看自己的感情 真的就是小孩子过家家闹脾气 可是即便这样 我们还是谁也没能处理好 还是错过了 还是失去了

《请以你的名字呼唤我》中Elio和Oliver分开后 他父亲说的那段话真的很有深度 大概意思是不管你现在经历的是痛苦还是快乐 希望你能好好感受自己内心的这种感受 第一次看这一幕的时候我不是很懂 倒回去看了好几次才慢慢懂得 父亲大概是想让他好好地面对自己内心的痛苦 而不是逃避 这样下一次遇到爱的人他才能全心全意的付出 反观我们从小到大 不管遇见什么事 大家都跟我们说会过去的 不要想太多 经历过的人都知道 这两句话除了让我们知道有人关心我们之外 真的没有一点用 我们还是会痛苦 会懊恼 现在想想如果当时我们选择直视自己的内心 结果会不会不一样 我们会不会更勇敢一点 而不是像现在这样畏手畏脚

今天看思达的微博讲他跟Ricky在一起到分开的那些事 真的特别心疼他 一个这么没有安全感又多愁善感的人 要花多大的力气才能放下 尽管每次只是从文字了解他 还是能真实地感受到他的喜怒哀乐 希望他能找到自己的幸福 希望他一直都是那个古灵精怪开开心心的Monata

父亲的话原文：When you least expect it, nature has cunning ways of finding our weakest spot. Just... remember I'm here. Right now you may not want to feel anything. Maybe you never wanted to feel anything. And uh, maybe it's not to me you'll want to speak about these things but uh... feel something you obviously did. Look, you had a beautiful friendship. Maybe more than a friendship. And I envy you. My place, most parents would hope the whole thing goes away, pray their sons land on their feet but... I am not such a parent. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything... What a waste. Have I spoken out of turn? Then I'll say one more thing. It will clear the air. I may have come close, but I never had what you two have. Something always... held me back, or... stood in the way. How you live your life is your business. Just... remember, our hearts and our bodies are given to us only once. And, before you know it, your heart's worn out, and... and as for your body, there comes a point where no one looks at it, much less wants to come near it. Right now there's sorrow... pain... don't kill it, and with it the joy you've felt.