by Oliver
"First，be friendly to yourself" 这是Jerry对我的临别赠言。我把它作为自己的课题，在日常的沉思中，经常会拿出来思考一下。在一次打坐的过程中，我忽然意识到，“对自己友善一点”就是要温柔的对待自己，每一次呼吸都是如此。也包括对自己的感受真诚的认识与接纳。
“对自己友善”还包含了对自己的允许。一次，在打坐的过程中，儿子反复的出出进进，我感到自己被打扰了。如果是在以前，我会非常的恼火。那次打坐的过程中，我看到了自己的情绪，思考它的由来。发现烦恼是来自自己对被打扰的“不允许”。我不允许自己被打扰，所以，我会有烦恼。而“我可以被打扰吗？”这是我对自己问的下一个问题，显然，我是“可以”被打扰的。我接纳自己被打扰的事实，允许自己“可以”被打扰。只有这样我才会允许他人打扰我。我也才能从被打扰的愤怒中解脱出来。
First, be friendly to yourself, that's what Jerry left to me when the 5 days' class was over. I put it into my daily contemplation. Once in my meditation, I suddenly realized that I must be gentle to myself each time I breath, and be honest to each of my feelings and accept them. If I want to 'be friendly to myself'.
It also includes that I must accept myself, so that I can accept others. For example, once while I was in my meditating, my son kept going in and out of my room. That was very annoying. I saw my feelings rise up. And I thought why I was angry about that. I found that I was angry because I never accepted that I could be disturbed.
"CAN I be disturbed?" I asked myself.
"Of course I CAN be disturbed" was my answer.
When I realized that, I finally could be free from the angry of being disturbed.
