I did nothing but walking down the muddy paths with tanglesome weeds back and forth. A gust of merry wind would blow my hair away. My tear would shed down as well when the hair got into my eyes. I couldn’t help about it. It is a burstout. You do nothing to stop your physical reactions. It is uncontrollable.
I kept moving forward unstoppably. And I saw the evening glow smearing on the glorious sky. The afterglow of sunset was sinking down the sea of sky. Suddenly, it disappeared without a trace. It was spectacular and splendid. Inevitably, I saw nothing but emptiness and isolation. My memories emerged out like flood rushed out from the embankment fiercely. It was relentless and merciless.
I was told it was brilliant. But I felt nothing.
This is a golden world. Chunks of fields of golden wheats spread all of the villages. The head of wheats are too heavy that the stems can’t bear it. It is a humble creature. I wish I could be one of them. It stands with silence and indifference. I can’t be them at the first place. Even just standing in the same place watching the sun comes out and down day in and day out .I am so envious deathly.
I was told it was exhilarating. But I felt nothing.
And so I lost my sleep. I came out from my bedroom. I sat down by the window. I heard crickets chirping and unknown birds whispering. And I looked up the night blue sky. It was filled with countless stars. It was crescent moon .But a second passed by, it changed into a full moon.
I was told it was splendid. But I felt nothing.
I was told it was a beauteous village. But I felt nothing.
I am a scarecrow who has lost in the wilderness. I hope I live in a blank space, like third dimension .It has white beyond white. So there won’t be anything whirling in my intricate brain, just endless white .I know there are certainties or uncertainties ahead of me. But I rely on god. He has my way. Just like unpredictable weather, I walk through it not avoiding.
Well, at least I used to feel a lot of things. I will feel more things.