冰清 译 冰清思语集

文章口述：Natasha Annie Tonthola

文章作者：Michael Wendling

文章来源：BBC

翻译：冰清

In July the BBC wrote about a Malawian man paid to have sex with young girls from his village, as part of a sexual initiation ritual. Later a Malawian woman, Natasha Annie Tonthola, contacted the BBC to explain how her experience of the ritual helped inspire her to campaign for the protection of women and girls. This is her story.

2016年6月，BBC广播公司报道了一则消息，一位马拉维男士被出资聘请和当地村落的女孩子发生性行为，以此作为性启蒙仪式的一个重要部分。随后，一位名叫Natasha Annie Tonthola的女士联系到BBC，讲述了她亲身经历的这场仪式如何启发她参与了保护女人和女孩的运动。以下是她的故事。

I'm the oldest of five children and I grew up in a village in the central district of Malawi, near the capital, Lilongwe, and I was 13 years old when the initiation ceremony happened.

My father was from a village near Mulanje, in the south of the country, and I was sent there for the ceremony after my first period. You don't have a choice - it happens to every girl in the village

我出生在马拉维首都利隆圭附近中心区的一个村落里。家中有5个孩子，我排行老大。13岁那年，我接受了性启蒙仪式。

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我的父亲来自马拉维南方一个就近姆兰杰的村落，在我月经初潮后，我就被送到那个村落接受性启蒙仪式，我没有选择，因为每个女孩都无法幸免。

We were told that we were going to learn about womanhood, and to be honest I was excited. So was every other girl.

On the last day one of the female elders told us that we had reached the final part of the process. She said a hyena was coming to visit us. "Don't worry, I'm not talking about an animal," she said. "I'm talking about a man."

But we didn't actually know what a hyena is, or what he was going to do. They don't tell you he's going to have sex with you.

We each had a piece of cloth and we were told to put it on the floor. We were told that it was time to show that we knew how to treat a man, that we knew what to do for our future husbands. Then we were blindfolded.

当时，我们被告知要去学习怎样成为一个女人，坦白的说，我和其他女孩子一样，都非常高兴。就在学习的最后一天，女长老们告诉我们课程已经接近尾声，接下来会有一个鬣狗来拜访我们，“不要担心，今天这个鬣狗不是动物，而是一个男人。”

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但是我们依旧无从知晓什么是“鬣狗”，或者他是来干什么的，更无人会告诉我们，他就是被派来同我们发生性行为的。

我们每人分到一块布，按照指示铺在地上，然后女长老告诉我们现在是学习怎样侍奉一个男人的时候了，也就是学习侍奉未来丈夫的时候。最后，我们被蒙上了眼睛。

You're not supposed to show you're scared, you're not supposed to show you don't know what's happening to you.

The man comes, and he tells you to lie down, you open your legs and he does what he does. We weren't allowed to know who the man was - only the elders know.

你无法表达你的恐惧，也无法知道接下来要发生什么样的事情。

然后，那个男人来到我们面前，让我们躺下，张开双腿，没有人能看得到那个人是谁，也不允许看到，只有女长老知道。

We were young girls, so we were tense, and this man would push our legs open. I found it painful. When he finished, I was relieved. The female elder came in and said, "Congratulations, you have finished the initiation ceremony, and you are a woman now."

我们都是一群黄花闺女，所以都很紧张，男人将我们的腿都分开。轮到我时，我感到了锥心的痛，直到他结束，我才被释放。然后，一位女长老来到我面前，说，“恭喜你，你已完成了性启蒙仪式，现在你正式成为一个女人了”。

Many girls think this is normal because we are in a way brainwashed, we think it is OK because it is tradition.

But the hyena didn't use protection and some of the girls got pregnant.

我们所有的女孩都被洗脑了，虽然都充满恐惧但是却认为这很正常，认为这就是在遵循传统仪式。 “鬣狗”并没有采取任何避孕措施，有些女孩后来怀孕了。

When we got back home, we weren't allowed to chat or play with girls who hadn't already been through the ceremony. I wasn't allowed to tell my younger sister anything about it. Girls are entering puberty earlier, and getting their periods at a younger age, so now the ceremony is happening to girls as young as 10 or 11 years old.

完成仪式归来，我们就被限制了活动，不能和还没有进行性启蒙仪式的女孩子玩，也不能向她们透露任何有关的事情。如今，女孩子进入青春期越来越早，月经初潮也越来越早， 基本都在１０岁或１１岁就接受了性启蒙仪式。

After the ceremony my life took a turn for the worse. My father, who was a policeman, died the following year.

The tradition of "wife inheritance" says that the brother of a man who dies should marry the widow, to provide for the family, but my mother refused to follow this custom.。

在性启蒙仪式之后，我的生活变得越来越糟。以警察为职的父亲，在次年去世。

按照“夫兄弟婚”的传统，身为寡妇的母亲应该嫁给父兄，但是母亲没有遵循这一传统。

Instead, we moved to South Africa, as my mother is half South African and my uncle invited us there to make a fresh start. We both took jobs to make ends meet - I lied about my age and got jobs in a salon and a kitchen. I also worked as a housekeeper. But despite working hard, we didn't have enough money to pay my school fees or to support our family.

Then, through my relatives back in Malawi, I found out that there was a man who was willing to pay my school fees as long as I agreed to marry him. I was about to turn 16, and I didn't want to get married so young. My mother didn't want me to either. But I was desperate to finish my education, and worried about my siblings and my mother, who was working so hard it was affecting her health. So I said yes and we all moved back to Malawi.

相反，我们举家迁到了南非，因为母亲是半个南非人，舅舅也极力邀请我们，希望我们在南非开始新的生活。我和母亲开始做苦工，为了找工作我隐瞒了真实年龄，先后在沙龙店打杂，在后厨做洗碗工，在富人家当佣人。尽管我们非常卖力的工作，依旧难以维持生计，更无力支付上学费用。

后来，我随亲戚回到马拉维，在那里遇到一位男士，他说只要我嫁给他就供我上学。当时我还不到１６岁，我不想那么早就嫁人，我母亲也极力反对，但是我怀着一颗迫切的心想完成学业，也想帮助可怜的弟弟妹妹还有积劳成疾的母亲能安稳度日，我决定拿自己的人生做交易 ,嫁给他。于是我们又举家 迁回马拉维。

We had a traditional marriage and he started paying for my secondary schooling and suppting my entire family. He was 15 years older than I was, he was educated, and was a successful businessman, but he was physically abusive. He beat me all the time. I still have scars on my body from my marriage.

我们举行了非常传统的婚礼，婚后，他开始履行诺言，支付我的学费，负责我们一家人的生活。他比我年长１５岁，受过教育，是一位成功的商人，但是有暴力倾向，经常会向我施暴，直到现在，我的身上依然有这场婚姻留下的疤痕。

I got pregnant at age 17, but fortunately I was able to take my exams before I gave birth to my daughter. My husband was still abusive - I almost had a miscarriage - and he was having affairs the entire time we were together. I was broken. This was not how I wanted my life to be, and I knew my husband was doing this to me because I was young and vulnerable, and didn't have anywhere else to go. I was trapped.

１７岁那年，我有了身孕。非常庆幸的是，考试比女儿出世来得早，所以我顺利完成了考试。在整个婚姻期间，丈夫对我的暴力从来没有停止过，为此我几近流产，他的婚外情也从来没有断过，这让我感到心碎也心灰意冷，我知道这不是我想要的生活，我也知道他如此待我，就是因为我年轻懵懂，软弱好欺，又无路可走，我被这场婚姻困住了。

It was at this point that my uncle in South Africa came to the rescue again. He knew I was passionate about fashion, and arranged for me to enrol in a fashion design course.

就在这个时候，我的救星舅舅，从南非远道而来，再次拯救我于水深火热之中。他知道我酷爱时尚，就为我出资报名，安排我去学习服装设计。

My husband always told me that if I left him, he'd hunt me down and kill me. So I had to lie, and tell him, "I'll be home in a week or two." But I did not go back. Instead I did the course, and supported myself by working in a restaurant.

我的丈夫一直恐吓我，如果我离开了他，他一定会活捉了我再将我碎尸万段，所以我向他撒谎，我要回娘家一两周。然后我去学服装设计，并通过在餐厅打工养活自己。

Eventually I went back to Malawi and started designing clothes for influential people. I also opened a restaurant - cooking is another big passion of mine, it's my version of therapy. And I started a community organisation working on a variety of issues, from keeping girls in school by fighting early marriage, educating people about rituals and traditions - including hyenas - which put girls at risk, and teaching about HIV/Aids, unwanted pregnancies and reproductive health.

终于，我完成了学业又回到了马拉维，开始向有影响力的人设计服装。后来又开了一家餐厅，烹饪是我的又一大爱好，也成了我治愈伤口的良药。与此同时，我开始投身社群工作，参与不同的议题，支持女孩受教育，反对早婚，告诉人们那些古老又封建的传统仪式将女孩置于很危险的境地，也向人们传授艾滋，HIV,意外怀孕和生殖健康的常识。

My troubles with my husband were not over, however. When he found out I was back in Malawi he started stalking me. He would say things like: "If I can't have you, nobody else can."

One day he came to the house that I was living in. I don't know how he got my address, but he seemed calm, so I let him inside. He said he wanted to see me, and that he also wanted to see his daughter, who was at that time three years old. He told me he loved me, that he was sorry and that he was a changed man.

在此期间，我的丈夫并没有停止过对我的骚扰，我学业归来后，他开始跟踪我，并扬言，如果我得不到你，别人也休想。

有一天，他来到我的住所，（我也不知道他是怎么知道地址的

），看上去不同以往的平静，我便请他进了屋，他说来看看我，也想看看３岁的女儿，告诉我他是爱我的，为之前的做法向我道歉，并且说他已经洗心革面了。

"We're still married, and I've done so much for you," he said. "If it wasn't for me paying your fees and taking you and your miserable family in, you wouldn't have become what you are today. You owe me."

I told him: "Once bitten, twice shy."

“你还是我的老婆，我为你做了那么多，是我当初掏钱供你上的学，是我当初把你从悲惨穷苦的家庭里解救出来，你能有今天都是我的功劳，是你欠我的。”

我告诉他，“一朝被蛇咬，十年怕井绳”。

I certainly didn't want to get back together with him. He shouted and threw things and then he started choking me - even though my daughter was sitting on my lap. He would have killed me if the neighbours hadn't heard my screams. They burst in and threw him out. I didn't press criminal charges, I didn't want to make my case more public than it already was. But I did get a restraining order to keep him away from me.

All the while, something was bubbling up inside me, and I knew that what had happened to me in my life was happening to other girls and women.

我当然不愿跟他回去，然后他开始咆哮，摔东西，掐住我的脖子想置我于死地，尽管孩子就坐在我的腿上。我拼命的喊叫，反抗，孩子也嚎啕大哭，邻居们听到哭声破门而入，最终我才逃过一劫。我没有提出刑事指控，不想让我已经众人皆知的丑陋生活再公布天下。但我提出了对他的限制令，让他永远不要再骚扰我。至此，我的内心无法平静，我知道在我身上发生的悲剧也同样在其他女孩和女人身上正在发生。

My community organisation continued to educate people but it was hard, particularly when we were challenging traditions such as the use of hyenas and wife inheritance.

我的社群工作依旧在进行，但是步履维艰，尤其是向类似“鬣狗”，“夫兄弟婚”这种根深蒂固的传统发起挑战非常艰难。

In some communities they told us: "Just because you are educated, doesn't mean that you should tell us what to do. These traditions and customs have existed for time immemorial, and we've practised them for ages without any harm."

在一些村落，有人告诉我，“不要因为你受过教育，就可以指使我们怎么做。这些传统习俗从远古时候就存在，千百年来世代延续，没有给我们带来过任何危害。”

But some elders and religious leaders listened, and some have stopped the practice in their villages.

但是，还是有一些长者和教主听从了我们的呼声，在一些村落停止了这种荒唐的习俗。

In my community work I soon learned more about the barriers for girls in school. If families are going through a financial rough patch, they're more likely to pay fees for boys rather than for girls. If girls drop out of school, the family is eager to marry them off rather than have them sit around the house all day. And many girls miss class because they can't afford sanitary towels.

我在社群工作期间，也更多的了解到，女孩子要上学有多难，要跨越多少障碍才能踏进学校的大门，如果一个家庭经济拮据，家长更倾向于将受教育的机会给男孩。一旦女孩辍学了，父母便亟不可待的将她们嫁出去，不允许她们待在家里 “坐吃山空”。即便有机会上学的女孩子，也会经常在例假期间旷课，因为她们买不起卫生巾。

To try to solve this problem, one of the main things my organisation is doing is distributing eco-friendly reusable washable sanitary pads and pants. They come as part of a kit including pants with clips so that they stay in place and a waterproof bag, in case girls need to change them in school. They are biodegradable, but cost effective and durable - they last for five years. I've also expanded into nappies. I hope these will encourage much less waste to go into landfill.

为了解决这一难题，我们社群工作的主要任务之一就是向女孩们分发既环保，又可水洗，又能多次使用的卫生巾和卫生裤 ，这种装备既包括裁剪得体的卫生裤以避免卫生巾走形，和一个防水袋，以避免女孩子在学校更换卫生巾的困扰。这些卫生巾和卫生裤成本很高，因为都是可生物分解的，也持久耐用，一般可以用5年。我也推广了尿布的使用，我希望这样可以减少浪费，避免将来垃圾成山的局面。

In 2011 I realised I needed to establish a formal organisation, and that was the start of Mama Africa Foundation Trust. We have distributed so many sanitary towels that I have lost count. I call this initiative Project Dignity.

Despite everything that's happened I'm optimistic about the future. I think there is so much we can do for the women and children who are victims of hyenas, of gender-based violence, and all the other social evils and challenges that are out there. It will be tough, but I have hope.

2011年，我意识到我应该建立一个正式机构，这就是非洲妈妈信托基金会的雏形，我们机构向社会分发了不计其数的卫生巾，我将这一创新项目命名为“为尊严而战”。

虽然在我身上发生了许多不幸，但我对未来依旧充满乐观，那些妇女和女孩，他们是“鬣狗”的牺牲品，是性别暴力的牺牲品，是所有社会罪恶的牺牲品，我们要不断的和这些罪恶战斗，虽然任重而道远，但我依然饱含希望。

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