Harvard 1504 Positive psychology 积极心理学
bridge Ivory tower and main street
time-in, replay, embracing stillness
1st force, behaviorism: reward
2nd, psychoanalysis: subconscious, dark forces, neurology
3rd, humanistic: spirit, cognition, freedom. but lack academic rigor
Maslow humanistic psycho.
on positive things, love, self-esteem
info./ data(knowledge) is not enough, +transform (wisdom)
@33min eg,same info., different interpretation
state of mind>status
@37min David.chip away limitationeg, perfectionism
common sense is not that common.
@43 min info. won't change world.
goal of education: self-actualization, be all you can be
identify the right questions
@52min Harvard MBAs: 1. really believe in self; 2. always asking questions
HAPPIER, not happy
life long pursuit
Handbook of Positive Psycho.
study ourselves, healthy emphacy
search inside+research(less bias)
Daily Show@ Jon Steward
Lecture is not enough.
find fit, not doctrine
focus on what works; prevention, cultivate positive state
ask the positive: not why fail, but why succeed despite unfavorable circumstances.
All these can be learned.
faith, sense of meaning.
self-help, other help
identify, focus on strength
emulate role model
MOST vital: admit weakness, reach out for help. social support
patho- to saluto-: origin of health
create new paradigm
@47min mind test: question to ask
applied in relationship
only ask weaknesses, NO! as if strength don't exist.
Questions create reality. ask POSITIVE question.appreciate what is working.
Marva Collins: positive learning
read about role models
choice1. passive victim- blame, anger. no result
choice2. active agent-take responsibility, take action. your decision. no one is coming.
self-esteem need self responsibility.
Yes, it's difficult. It's tough. It's unfair. However, it's your responsibility. No one is coming.
why positive psycho.
1st reason: Questions make a difference
@6min 2nd reason: not patho<>happy,give rid of negative<>get positive
big mistake: focus on weakness
@12min run away from unhappy/actively pursue happiness
One is the disease model: let's run away from what is not working. The other is the health model: let's pursue my passions, what I love to do.
patho- model<=0. health model>0!
comfort zone[me: @宣枫]
It's about where we focus, focus creates reality; it's about happiness is not just a negation of unhappiness
3rd reason: also help deal negative
When we cultivate the positive, we are essentially focusing on prevention cultivate passion.
Begin a quest, not avoid pain.
health model vs. disease model
Disease model: Take away the illness. You'll become healthy.
Health model: You are ill, 'cause you are not healthy enough. not cultivated. different from disease model. not correct/directly deal with illness. Prevention is not enough.
What make you healthy?pursuing
meaning, purpose; cultivating healthy relationships.
Maslow: You are unwell. Focus on your health. Strengthen your health. Because you are ill, because you are not focusing enough on your
a perspective focused on systematically building competency, not correcting weakness.
what the positive psychology is all about is precisely that— cultivating personal growth, working on the positive.
human strengths that act as buffers against mental illness: courage, future-mindedness, optimism, interpersonal skill, faith, work ethic, hope, honesty, perseverance, the capacity for flow and insight.
Cultivating capacity is about creating a strong psychological immune system.
[me: provoking even in biology]
@25min They enlarge transform— the way we see, the way we experience the world, enlarge the capacity of the form and that's we are better able to deal the inevitable difficulties.
Resource: Bureau of Study Counsel.
Psychology is not just the study of disease, weakness, and damage it also is the study of strength and virtue, Treatment is not just fixing what is wrong; it also is building what is right.
positive psychology does not rely on wishful thinking, self-deception, or hand waving; instead, it tries to adapt what is best in the scientific method to the unique problems that
human behavior presents in all its complexity.
five basic premises of this course:
1. bridge building
Celibacy does not suit a university. It must
mate itself with action.
What the world needs, more than anything else, are practical idealists.
Idealism and good intentions are not enough. We need to merge, to mate the research with the practice.
what research shows us is reality: what's out there, what’s working and what's not working. And we need to conform to it.
2. change is possible
study the happiest people: Maslow's growing-tip statistics
take what they learned from these extraordinary, best individuals and apply it to other people's lives
first significant idea is "let's study what works"
second significant idea is "let's study what works best"
3. improve, better external circumstances.
4. Happiness primarily— not only, primarily—is dependent onhow we perceive the world, on the form, on our interpretation, on our perception.
Human nature needs to be obeyed with all its flaws, with all its shortcomings, as opposed to
attempting to perfect it on the psychological level.
5. there are higher, more important, more moral than Happiness.
There is a lot of research that shows when we praise people indiscriminately, we are actually in the long run potentially hurting them more than helping them, whether it's their well-being.
doing meditation actually literally transforms our brain, making us more susceptible to
positive emotions and more resilient in the face of painful emotions.
good intention not enough, grounded in research
exponential nature of human network
Pay It Forward.
Premise3 internal vs external
fMRI, EEG prove correlation with self-report.
return to base level after 6 months.
Wealth matters very little in well-being.
lower expectation? Not in the long term.
Wrong vs right expectations, change our perception.
Premise4 human nature, change or accept?
1. constraint/limited, accept/obey instinct, flaw. channel it
2. unconstrain. perfection
@43min Permission to be human: with friend or diary. unconditional acceptance.
@50min accept and enjoy the emotion
When try to suppress, it's intensified.
Painful emotion is human nature, as the Law of Gravity.
Deception leads to depression. Accept it instead. nothing good or bad in emotion.
active accept, not resign to painful emotion.
Affect, emotion, reality
Give youself the permission to be human. Imagine what your life will be.
happiness is important, ought to(morally) be important.
Positive emotions help think beyond, build capacity. see broadly.
Negative & narrow constrict: - downward spiral
happiness is contagious, positive sum game. not selfish.
selfish <> immoral
be the change you want to be in the world.
mile run 4 minute barrier: mental barrier
experiment: randomly labeled students, remarked teachers.
Belief create reality.
Prisoning experiment, enter role.
@1h16min create positive situation
priming experiments. prime with positive words, perform better in tests.
how to create a positive priming for ourselves?
put people or places you love where you see, quotes, music, inspiring films.
<'Secret'> law of attraction. believe, and you will achieve. part of the truth.
ask question, believe in self.
esteem shape us.
experience world in a different way.
Why? 2 mediators. motivation.
schema of the world in mind. error theory.
update schema; ignore external; seek confirmation; create new reality.
Edison: succeed in showing what does not work.
pessimist: low expectation, low performance. when perform beyond expectation, regard as luck.
optimist: high level of expectation, belief and motivation. what if I learn from it? I have shown it does not work. continue to work hard. match their belief.
how we interpret events. can be learned. teach to interpret optimistically.
temporary vs. permanent.
realistic optimism vs. unrealistic
derive conclusion about ourselves as about others.
learn to fail, or fail to learn.
raise the base level? coping, yield positive results.
1. action. hard work inevitably make us more successful, see self working hard. failing, get up again.
~immune system. stronger through failure.
fail more. no other way to success.
2. imaging success
prepare, prepare, prepare. and let it go spontaneous.
mechanism: same neuron fire for real and imaginary. create success. mind does not like inconsistency, bring real action.
not only on the goal, but also the process.
add more senses.
3. cognitive therapy
at the level of evaluation.
where do I distort reality so that I have unnecessary negative emotion?
induction is human nature, for develop for concept.
but maybe over-generalize. 'all or nothing'
minimize. Tunnel Vision. permission to be human.
ruin what should be for a celebration. once we recognize it, we can reform it.
make up. not over-personalize or over-blame, just be real.
emotion is capitulation of reality, not reality.
How to get real? ask: am I ignoring something important? open up, open new vision and create reality. Am I ignoring something that is going well? What is the big picture?
extremely happy people:
also experience painful emotion. but recover from different interpretation.
focus on what is not working:fault-finder.
benefit-finder: look on the bright side of life.
Things happen for the best.
make the best of things that happened.
sit down and think, what is the important part.
1'40'' look from the positive side.
much of our experience, we co-create.
(I suffered a lot, yet I am so lucky to be able to go to Yale without hesitation and regret. )
Be a benefit finder: feel better.
eg, heart attack as an alarm, change better lifestyle, focus on the things that really matter.
change the focus. how to interpret after. make the best of the things that happened.
the Nun study. positive finding, longevity.
Question: If it is good, what aren't we all optimist? How do I become more optimistic?A: optimism is considered detached, unrealistic.
so much negative news.
There is more good than bad in the world.
eg, US, not perfect, but a great country.
appreciate, increase price.
eg, everyone says 'You look fantastic!'
what you focus on expand.
good news network.
Beethoven and Hugo, whose life was harsh but focus on human potential.
art. what human society can and ought to be.
not ignoring, but improving.
we adapt. nature made us change detectors.
we take for granted and do not appreciate.
must something tragic happen before we appreciate the ordinary?
how to cultivate gratitude?
every night before bed, write at least 5 things to appreciate.
do with my kid every day. and with my wife regularly. (try with your parents)
keep freshness. one drawback of the activity is habituation. vary, aspects. focus. visualize. it takes time.
eg, grandmom survive concentration camp.
it is such a beautiful world. it is a pity we had to leave.
Think about the life you are living. Kings and queens do not live that.
eg, truly think about what Mum does for me.
(try every Sunday before the video call)
(write, talk, ruminate)*(bad, good). write: analyse. ruminate: let go, replay again and again, do not make clear.
write or talk the bad, ruminate the good.
experience the negative emotion, and act. eg, share, write.
eg, Helen Keller. make the most of every sense, as if you will lose them tomorrow.
[Activity: write down. lab mates, potential lab mates, mother and father, aunts, senior scientist, potential PI, waiter, genius.]
eg, habit to exercise.
what is change? in brain. 1998 find neural plasticity and genesis. use more, grow more. prone to use existent pathway, rather than use new ones. eg, London taxi driver. eg, fault finding. we can change it pathway by pathway.
gradual change. the huge change also takes time in its preparation.
1930s-believe in quick change.
enjoy the graduate process of change.
Do I really want to change?
associated characteristic, eg, rigidity and consistency; perfectionism, ambitious; anxiety, responsibility; fault-finding, realistic; happiness, lazy ('no pain, no gain')
ABC. affect, behavior/action, cognition.
Exercise: mindful meditation. focus on breath. return when wander. mind scan whole body. focus and relax the uncomfortable part.
brain changes with the meditation.
opposite of PTSD: peak experience. eg, becoming father.
post peak experience order:
accept emotion. open up the pathway.
have a meaningful goal.
replay, write about it. take action.
attitude to behavior. habit: behavior pattern.
self-perception theory. influence on theirs, reflect back to ourselves.
fake it to make it. behavior affect attitude.
get your head up. walk straight. convey the positive information.
acute change. coping. leave comfort zone, enter learning zone.
find opportunity in difficulty.
1'16 Tal on the show.
There is no other way to change. nothing will happen unless we have real actual behavior.
experiment: seem interested, laugh, ask question.
Tell the truth about the study.
Action>mere wisdom. Upward spiral.
Optimal level of discomfort. Stretch zone, where change happens. Comfort zone, panic zone.
Gradually out of comfort zone. Need help in panic zone.
Follow Aha moment with actions. Start change.
method 1: self-motivate. method 2: just do it.
Do less a time.
Self-discipline. Most people cannot get more self-discipline. Introduce rituals, instead of relying on self-discipline.
A limited amount of self-discipline.
New resolution. Vs. brush teeth. No one fulfills new year resolution.
Method: create and maintain rituals!
Eg, athletes do exercises as ritual. Run before class. Have two ritual dates a week with wife. Write a thank-you note.
Negative rituals. Eg, not check emails during work.
Give yourself 30 days for a ritual. No more than have 2 rituals a time. After that, have a new one. Easy to maintain than to create.
Eg, less efficient after stopping squash training. Because I give up my ritual. Become efficient again by creating new rituals.
Cognitive reconstruction. Neural pathways define behavior preference. Same tough family, opposite effect. depend on interpretation.
eg, want to quit Harvard. treat it as a challenge, a wonderful opportunity, instead of THREAT. if I can overcome it, I can overcome anywhere else.
relationship. to be known.
1. incubation, preparation is vital for creativity.
2.take time off. the mind works during break. eg, hang out, listen to music.
evaluate: last? real?
write about painful experience by A-B-C in journal. only 15 min * 3 per day * 3 day. anxiety fisrt goes up, then decrease.
common channels for negative and positive emotions. open up and allow emotion to flow.
write about peak experience.
work the same as sharing with friends.
Life is hard. Some people deal better and life overall happy life. Study the people.
1. Understand the world, make sense of it.
3. Sense of meaningfulness. Worthy do deal with.
Habit is a flood. A loop.
Meditation. Intervention Through Behavior or cognition. Analyse in journal by learned theory. Exercise, Yoga, relaxing music. Gradual exposure, imaginary practice.
The process of change is rewarding and enjoyable. It is process not outcome. Elevate life by conscious endeavor.
Material to happiness.
Goals focus us, bring forth resources. Strengthen resilience. Focus on the future. 'What for' lead to 'how'. Real and goal, minds want consistency.
Goal, children on the bus. Necessity opens up opportunity.
Same with commitment. Question become how after goals are set.
Not attaining a goal, but having a goal makes us happy. Long-lasting, not peak spike. Focus on the present, the base level. Learn to enjoy the process.
So many high-achievers are unhappy. Before they get there, they think they will be happy after they get there. When they get there, they still do not and thus feel helpless.
happiness is the experience of climbing toward the peak, having a goal in mind.
'Should have taken the other path.' It doesn't matter. As long as you committed, enjoy the journey. progress toward one goal.
do things that you care about.
Identify things that you can do. Out of those, identify those you want to do. -you really want to do.
seize the day. do want you want.
benefit of self-concordance: happier; have a goal, resolve inside conflict, uncertainty, away from anxiety and focus;
to resolve conflict: have a coordinate goal.
do it better with pressure.
case: taken care of vs. do their own thing, have choice. latter happier, healthier.
too easy is not good. stress is necessary.
VIA questionnaire, DSM.
define 24 universal character strength.
self-concordant goal, journey. real me: feel most myself,natural= character strength. Do I feel authentic? active and alive.
26:00 help deal with negative, by building capacity/immunity.
Step 1: find character strength
apply till it becomes a habit.
how to apply to solve problem.
work orientation. job, career, calling. perception of work.
eg, investment banking--creating jobs. see positive components.
most noble: listen to inner voice. begin with yourself. what can't we live without.
write them down;
set lifelines (instead of deadline), concrete, specific (to energize);
set new goals when achieved;
break down, long-term goal, short-term, plan.
45% percent of Harvard stressed to not functional. nationwide, global epidemic.
study the healthy ones. set rituals; set rituals for work and recovery.
stress is actually good. ~gym, take breaks.
problem is lack of recovery! [true! eg, GJ playing games]. be a sprinter rather than a marathon runner, sprint and recover. 60-90 min + 15 min recovery by music, gym, meditation. flexbiile ritual.
multi-level recovery. rest, sleep, vacations. a day off once a week.
hope you fail more.
chronic stress due to lack of recovery.
need for physical exercise.
key is focus, both on work and on recovery.
'I'll always love you'
This is modern life, 10+9.5<>19.5, not able to enjoy. leads to frustration.
turn off email when focus is required.
Do less. identify what we really want to do.overwork.
sustainable growth, replenish.
5 min take-off, just push, through action. start acting and then be inspired. just do it.
tell people what you are going to do. forced to do it.
do it with others.
write down goals, make a list.
permission to recreate, recover.
change perfectionism to excellence.
imitate a model, train like him.
need to understand myself better. understand it to overcome it.
(I can draw a small circle.)
learn to fail or fail to learn.
be prepared to fail. succeed in showing what did not work.
psychological safety: not afraid of talking about mistakes.
Lecture 15 Perfectionism
Significant failure. as a turning point. make the best of what happens.
on journey. different skema of perfectionist vs. excellence. perfection is fantasy, fighting against nature.
features of perf.: defensiveness; overgeneralize; no acceptance, no deviation; terrified of failure; constant pressure, temporary happiness, rat racer; all or nothing.
stress and anxiety.
cause procrastination. no act, no failure.
excellence: enjoy the journey; lasting satisfaction; more successful and happier than perfectionist.
Pareto principle. 20% time to finish 80% work. own biological clock.
Source of perfectionism:
expect reward, but the journey is not rewarded, and failure is not rewarded.
reward the effort. permission to be human.
eg, praise for smart or hard work.
How to overcome:
First step: awareness.
What is the positive model rather than the perfectionism? The only difference is the enjoy the journey.
How to overcome: key is behavior. eg, wait before defence. imagine the good scence. see current effort as preparation. compassion for yourself, accept our failure like others. share with others.
A trick: Permission to be human; respect reality, reframe as Positive; change Perspective, distract from negative emotion, will it matter after a year.
Most problems happen necks down.
30 min physical exercise, 4 times a week; mindful meditation; 8 h of sleep, 12 hugs a day.
1. Physical exercise.
It's a need, as O2. animal nature.
Major depression treated by exercise, lasting effect.
reduce chronic diseases.
timing: listen to your body.
importance of recovery.
Start gradually after break/recovery; social support.
Lecture 17 Mind-body
Only aerobic exercise? it cannot be substituted.
interval training. sprint and rest, is more intensive.
the more variety, the better.
exercise should be the last thing to give up. make it a ritual. just do it.
Taiji or Qigong, focus on breath.
Enlightened, clarity. the world is so beautiful. clean the window.
meditation: focus on present.
effect: easier to be happy, rescilient to stress. no startle reaction. reduced anxiety. stronger immune response.
Do we have time?sitting meditation; walking meditation. [haha]
45 min, 15-20 min per day is effective.
first level: awareness. feel it somewhere in the body. accept and observe it. deviate from depressed/ruminating/fixing pathway. let it heal.
two methods: body scan.cognitive reconstruction.
mechanism: from doing to being.
three deep breahting can transform your life. eg, when red light.
Lecture 18 Love
average 8 hours of sleep. wake up natually to test.
as an investment. physical immune system, energy level, lack of sleep cause weight increase, cognitive function, lack of sleep cause depression (dream good things later and solve problems first).
Tips: naps during the day. not eat or exercise too late. permission to be human. what rhythm is right for you?
physical and mental health. touch help solve sexual problems. touch is a need, study of babies. touch deprivation of monkeys. 12 hugs a day for growth. win-win.
no. 1 predictor of happiness.
recover more quickly. thriving relationship. win-win. right amount. introverts: higher level of arousal. introverts need recovery after being extraverts.
men benefit more. more to share.
quiet desperation. failure to sustain love over time. wears over time, adaptaion. novelty excites more.
understand true love. no perfect love.
what makes successful long-term relationship?
appreciate the good.
wrong expectation. focus too much on finding 'the right one'. finding mindset.
cultivating mindset. Shakespeare on fictions/art vs. history. popular movies focus on finding mindset.
contact hypothesis. contact is not enough for improving relationship. have a common goal. active marriage. behavior affect emotion and cognition.
2. to be known. express rather than validate and impress, open up and reveal. do not suppress. risky? no, long-term growth. love real me, or the image? partners validate each other.
3. allow conflict. 1:7=conflict:positive interaction. immunity. strengthen positive. love is in the detail. show interest, get to know. pay compliment. empathy. more touching.
4. sex, physcial component. communication is important.
5. focus on the behavior, not the person. avoid hostility and contempt.
why treat others better?
positive illusion. benefit finder. it's self-fulfilling prophercy.
By TF Shawn
The Office (TV show).
Human, as a mindful lens.Wu-tang band.
laugh. hard to define humor.
Freud. super-ego, social constraint. humor: social acceptable way to vent our repression.
Bergson. to correct our trajectory, toward self-actualization.
break social rules. eg, American and European jokes.
based on the way of counterfact. objective and subjective. after-image.
define mindfulness: being present in the situation, potential for change.
Benefits: sym. nerv. system, stronger; parasym. nerv. sys, calm down. humor activate parasympathetic system. strengthen immune system. reduce stress response/cortisol.
mirror neuron. empathy.
Ways to increase humor.
1. write down things and change them.
2. watch funny people.
3. two-question process. break pattern.
Lecture 21 Relationship; Self-esteem
ideal friend. a beautiful enemy. help as opposition. You make me want to be a better man.
importance of questions. not what to improve, but what to appreciate, what is working.
communicate about positive events. constructive responding. active/passive; constructive/destructive. genuine.
selfish or ultruistic teacher/partner.
I am punished by success. rock up and down the hill. read 'Emile'.
definition: judgment and feeling about oneself. feeling ofconfidenceand experiece ofworthiness.
benefit. ability to cope; relationship; prophecy; happiness; rescilence.
arrogance and narcess: pseudo-selfest.
self-est is founded in reality. product of hard work.
1. integrity. under-promise and over-deliver.
2. know yourself, have self-concordent goal.
3. take responsibility. self-assertiveness, say yes or no.
paradox. coexistence of success and low self-est.
3*2: A. dependece self-est; indep self-est; unconditional self-est. a. worthiness; b. competence. Ab=comparison with others. Bb=compare with self.
to deal with A, accept it.
Lecture 22 Self-esteem
12/23/15 finish it this holiday!
self-esteem research. break down to components.
dependent; need approval.
independent; internal voice.
unconditional. not matter even self-evaluation. pure experience.
not intentional to avoid dependent self-esteem. let it be, permission to be human.
not need to be intentional modest. being real. like a baby learning to walk, learn sense of self. assert ourselves. It takes time.
identify my passion, my calling. ask questions. express ourselves, not to impress.
Why is important to be independent?
relationship, interdependent, differentiate. can disagree without feeling isolated.
How to enhance self-esteem?
Pursue their passion. Thought experiment, what would you do when no one know/see you? [A perfect question!]
Genuine humble behavior. honor is essentially honoring, believing oneself. internally generated honor will chase me.
time affluence. no time- conform to the group. In cold state, think.
integrity. be conscious about words to impress. be known rather than validated.
Be yourself in daily journal, then extend to communication.
Self-test would help. Try to recap this course and take actions.]
reflect: 2 interesting things, 2 commitments. share with another one.
self-concordant goal. compassion toward self and others mingled.
limiting belief, chip off.
We can get over bad things quickly.
To be known, not validated. desire to be known. express. the most personal is also the most general.
circumstance not take over happiness. take a more active role. perception.
permission to be human.
reframe the question. question create reality.
maintain integrity. My words count, I count.
happiness is the ultimate currency. not about high or low expectation, but about right or wrong expectation.
doing less is more. quality and quantity.
simplicity on the other side of complexity. hang on, then it will become clear.
courage is not about being fearless. behavioral change, not in theory.
look for calling.
not avoid, I need to make the change.
stretch yourself and make you stronger.
prioritize people, they matter most.
The question you ask. ask positive questions, about myself, partners.
belief creates reality.
ask questions, want to learn more.
stretch, take risk. coping.
learn to fail. no shortcut. practice over and over. failure is inevitable, not perfect.
permission to be human. accept it, just as law of gravity.
appreciate, focus on what is working.
There cannot be too many great things. 2 great songs=noise.simplify, say no. find out what you really want to do, do it.
no.1 indicator: relationship. invest, share, open up.
mind-body. exercise 4 times a week. deep breath. sleep. hug.
be known rather than validated.
change. behavioral changes.
Take care of yourself first.
Be the change you want.