如何更幸福?哈佛幸福课(积极心理学)评价、视频及笔记

Harvard 1504 Positive psychology 积极心理学

by Tal Ben-Shahar

如何评价哈佛大学公开课:幸福课? 要点总结(2800+赞/23万+阅读:非常用心,强烈推荐)

公开课视频(国内观看,中文字幕)

公开课视频(国外观看)

Positive Psychology - Harvard Health

知乎话题 哈佛大学公开课:幸福课 


我的关键词笔记

·Lecture 1

(不清楚的地方请参考视频:) 前面分享的第一篇如何评价哈佛大学公开课:幸福课已经做了很多总结和翻译工作,再次推荐!)

message>messenger

self-help movement

bridge Ivory tower and main street

academic+applied

active note

time-in, replay, embracing stillness

1st force, behaviorism: reward

2nd, psychoanalysis: subconscious, dark forces, neurology

3rd, humanistic: spirit, cognition, freedom. but lack academic rigor

Maslow humanistic psycho.

salutogenesis

on positive things, love, self-esteem

info./ data(knowledge) is not enough, +transform (wisdom)

@33min eg,same info., different interpretation

state of mind>status

@37min David.chip away limitationeg, perfectionism

potential

老子,为学,为道

common sense is not that common.

Hope

@43 min info. won't change world.

neural plasticity

goal of education: self-actualization, be all you can be

identify the right questions

@52min Harvard MBAs: 1. really believe in self; 2. always asking questions

HAPPIER, not happy

life long pursuit

Ref.

Handbook of Positive Psycho.

study ourselves, healthy emphacy

search inside+research(less bias)

@1h8min CHANGE

Daily Show@ Jon Steward

Syllabus

spiral!

Lecture is not enough.

To teach.

[MOM]

·Lecture 2

find fit, not doctrine

study negative>>positive

depression

focus on what works; prevention, cultivate positive state

ask the positive: not why fail, but why succeed despite unfavorable circumstances.

Features found:

All these can be learned.

Resilience, include:

optimistic, idealistic/realistic,

faith, sense of meaning.

self-help, other help

identify, focus on strength

set goals

emulate role model

MOST vital: admit weakness, reach out for help. social support

patho- to saluto-: origin of health

create new paradigm

@47min mind test: question to ask

applied in relationship

only ask weaknesses, NO! as if strength don't exist.

Questions create reality. ask POSITIVE question.appreciate what is working.

Marva Collins: positive learning

read about role models

choice1. passive victim- blame, anger. no result

choice2. active agent-take responsibility, take action. your decision. no one is coming.

self-esteem need self responsibility.

[inspiring course!]

·Lecture 3

Yes, it's difficult. It's tough. It's unfair. However, it's your responsibility. No one is coming.

why positive psycho.

1st reason: Questions make a difference

@6min 2nd reason: not patho<>happy,give rid of negative<>get positive

analogy: indigestion

big mistake: focus on weakness

@12min run away from unhappy/actively pursue happiness

One is the disease model: let's run away from what is not working. The other is the health model:  let's pursue my passions, what I love to do.

patho- model<=0. health model>0!

comfort zone[me: @宣枫]

It's about where we focus, focus creates reality; it's about happiness is not just a negation of unhappiness

3rd reason: also help deal negative

When we cultivate the positive, we are essentially focusing on prevention cultivate passion.

Begin a quest, not avoid pain.

health model vs. disease model

Disease model: Take away the illness. You'll become healthy.

Health model: You are ill, 'cause you are not healthy enough. not cultivated. different from disease model. not correct/directly deal with illness. Prevention is not enough.

What make you healthy?pursuing

meaning, purpose; cultivating healthy relationships.

Maslow: You are unwell. Focus on your health.  Strengthen your health. Because you are ill, because you are not focusing enough on your

health.

a perspective focused on systematically building competency, not correcting weakness.

what the positive psychology is all about is precisely that— cultivating personal growth, working on the positive.

human strengths that act as buffers against mental illness: courage, future-mindedness, optimism, interpersonal  skill, faith, work ethic, hope, honesty, perseverance, the capacity for flow and insight.

Cultivating capacity is about creating a strong psychological immune system.

[me: provoking even in biology]

@25min They enlarge transform— the way we see, the way we experience the world, enlarge the capacity of the form  and that's we are better able to deal the inevitable difficulties.

Resource: Bureau of Study Counsel.

Psychology is not just the study of disease, weakness, and damage it also is the study of strength and virtue, Treatment is not just fixing what is wrong; it also is  building what is right.

positive psychology does not rely on wishful thinking, self-deception, or hand waving; instead, it tries to adapt what is best in the scientific method to the unique problems that

human behavior presents in all its complexity.

five basic premises of this course:

1. bridge building

Celibacy does not suit a university. It must

mate itself with action.

What the world needs, more than anything else, are practical idealists.

Idealism and good intentions are not enough. We need to merge, to mate the research with the practice.

what research shows us is reality: what's out there, what’s working and what's not working. And we need to conform to it.

2. change is possible

Twin study.

study the happiest people: Maslow's growing-tip statistics

take what they learned from these extraordinary, best individuals and apply it to other people's lives

first significant idea is "let's study what works"

second significant idea is "let's study what works best"

societal change

exceptions

3. improve, better external circumstances.

4. Happiness primarily— not only, primarily—is dependent onhow we perceive the world, on the form, on our interpretation, on our perception.

Human nature needs to be obeyed with all its flaws, with all its shortcomings, as opposed to

attempting to perfect it on the psychological level.

5. there are higher, more important, more moral than Happiness.

There is a lot of research that shows when we praise people indiscriminately, we are actually in the long run potentially hurting them more than  helping them, whether it's their well-being.

doing meditation actually literally transforms our brain, making us more susceptible to

positive emotions and more resilient in the face of painful emotions.

Lecture 4

good intention not enough, grounded in research

democratize excellence

exponential nature of human network

direction?

Pay It Forward.

Premise3 internal vs external

fMRI, EEG prove correlation with self-report.

return to base level after 6 months.

Wealth matters very little in well-being.

lower expectation? Not in the long term.

Wrong vs right expectations, change our perception.

Premise4 human nature, change or accept?

Thomas Sowell:

1. constraint/limited, accept/obey instinct, flaw. channel it

2. unconstrain. perfection

@43min Permission to be human: with friend or diary. unconditional acceptance.

@50min accept and enjoy the emotion

When try to suppress, it's intensified.

Painful emotion is human nature, as the Law of Gravity.

Deception leads to depression. Accept it instead. nothing good or bad in emotion.

active accept, not resign to painful emotion.

ABC:

Affect, emotion, reality

Behavior. <>A

Cognition. <>A

@1h6min Meditation

Give youself the permission to be human. Imagine what your life will be.

Lecture 5

Premise5

happiness is important, ought to(morally) be important.

Positive emotions help think beyond, build capacity. see broadly.

Negative & narrow constrict: - downward spiral

happiness is contagious, positive sum game. not selfish.

selfish <> immoral

be the change you want to be in the world.

Optimism

mile run 4 minute barrier: mental barrier

Pygmalion. transform

experiment: randomly labeled students, remarked teachers.

Belief create reality.

Prisoning experiment, enter role.

@1h16min create positive situation

prime

Lecture 6

3/15/2015

priming experiments. prime with positive words, perform better in tests.

how to create a positive priming for ourselves?

put people or places you love where you see, quotes, music, inspiring films.

self-help movement.

<'Secret'> law of attraction. believe, and you will achieve. part of the truth.

external conditions.

ask question, believe in self.

esteem shape us.

experience world in a different way.

placebo effect.

Why? 2 mediators. motivation.

schema of the world in mind. error theory.

update schema; ignore external; seek confirmation; create new reality.

3/16

Edison: succeed in showing what does not work.

pessimist: low expectation, low performance. when perform beyond expectation, regard as luck.

optimist: high level of expectation, belief and motivation. what if I learn from it? I have shown it does not work. continue to work hard. match their belief.

how we interpret events. can be learned. teach to interpret optimistically.

temporary vs. permanent.

realistic optimism vs. unrealistic

derive conclusion about ourselves as about others.

learn to fail, or fail to learn.

Lecture 7

3/17

raise the base level? coping, yield positive results.

technique

1. action. hard work inevitably make us more successful, see self working hard. failing, get up again.

~immune system. stronger through failure.

fail more. no other way to success.

2. imaging success

prepare, prepare, prepare. and let it go spontaneous.

visualization:

mechanism: same neuron fire for real and imaginary. create success. mind does not like inconsistency, bring real action.

not only on the goal, but also the process.

add more senses.

3. cognitive therapy

Event-evaluation (thought)-emotion

at the level of evaluation.

where do I distort reality so that I have unnecessary negative emotion?

induction is human nature, for develop for concept.

but maybe over-generalize. 'all or nothing'

minimize. Tunnel Vision. permission to be human.

ruin what should be for a celebration. once we recognize it, we can reform it.

make up. not over-personalize or over-blame, just be real.

emotion is capitulation of reality, not reality.

How to get real? ask: am I ignoring something important? open up, open new vision and create reality. Am I ignoring something that is going well? What is the big picture?

extremely happy people:

also experience painful emotion. but recover from different interpretation.

0318

Focus.

focus on what is not working:fault-finder.

benefit-finder: look on the bright side of life.

cognitive reconstruction.

Things happen for the best.

make the best of things that happened.

sit down and think, what is the important part.

1'40'' look from the positive side.

much of our experience, we co-create.

(I suffered a lot, yet I am so lucky to be able to go to Yale without hesitation and regret. )

Lecture 8

0321

Be a benefit finder: feel better.

eg, heart attack as an alarm, change better lifestyle, focus on the things that really matter.

change the focus. how to interpret after. make the best of the things that happened.

the Nun study. positive finding, longevity.

Question: If it is good, what aren't we all optimist? How do I become more optimistic?A: optimism is considered detached, unrealistic.

so much negative news.

There is more good than bad in the world.

eg, US, not perfect, but a great country.

appreciate, increase price.

eg, everyone says 'You look fantastic!'

what you focus on expand.

good news network.

Beethoven and Hugo, whose life was harsh but focus on human potential.

0322

art. what human society can and ought to be.

not ignoring, but improving.

we adapt. nature made us change detectors.

we take for granted and do not appreciate.

must something tragic happen before we appreciate the ordinary?

how to cultivate gratitude?

every night before bed, write at least 5 things to appreciate.

do with my kid every day. and with my wife regularly. (try with your parents)

keep freshness. one drawback of the activity is habituation. vary, aspects. focus. visualize. it takes time.

eg, grandmom survive concentration camp.

it is such a beautiful world. it is a pity we had to leave.

Lecture 9

Think about the life you are living. Kings and queens do not live that.

eg, truly think about what Mum does for me.

(try every Sunday before the video call)

(write, talk, ruminate)*(bad, good). write: analyse. ruminate: let go, replay again and again, do not make clear.

write or talk the bad, ruminate the good.

experience the negative emotion, and act. eg, share, write.

eg, Helen Keller. make the most of every sense, as if you will lose them tomorrow.

[Activity: write down. lab mates, potential lab mates, mother and father, aunts, senior scientist, potential PI, waiter, genius.]

Topic: change

eg, habit to exercise.

what is change? in brain. 1998 find neural plasticity and genesis.  use more, grow more. prone to use existent pathway, rather than use new ones. eg, London taxi driver. eg, fault finding. we can change it pathway by pathway.

gradual change. the huge change also takes time in its preparation.

1930s-believe in quick change.

enjoy the graduate process of change.

Lecture 10

Do I really want to change?

associated characteristic, eg, rigidity and consistency; perfectionism, ambitious; anxiety, responsibility; fault-finding, realistic; happiness, lazy ('no pain, no gain')

ABC. affect, behavior/action, cognition.

genetic set.

Exercise: mindful meditation. focus on breath. return when wander. mind scan whole body. focus and relax the uncomfortable part.

brain changes with the meditation.

0325

opposite of PTSD: peak experience. eg, becoming father.

post peak experience order:

accept emotion. open up the pathway.

have a meaningful goal.

replay, write about it. take action.

attitude to behavior. habit: behavior pattern.

smile.

self-perception theory. influence on theirs, reflect back to ourselves.

fake it to make it. behavior affect attitude.

get your head up. walk straight. convey the positive information.

acute change. coping. leave comfort zone, enter learning zone.

find opportunity in difficulty.

1'16 Tal on the show.

There is no other way to change. nothing will happen unless we have real actual behavior.

Lecture 11

0327

experiment: seem interested, laugh, ask question.

0329

Tell the truth about the study.

Action>mere wisdom. Upward spiral.

Optimal level of discomfort. Stretch zone, where change happens. Comfort zone, panic zone.

Gradually out of comfort zone. Need help in panic zone.

0407

self-perception.

Follow Aha moment with actions. Start change.

method 1: self-motivate. method 2: just do it.

Do less a time.

0411

Self-discipline. Most people cannot get more self-discipline. Introduce rituals, instead of relying on self-discipline.

A limited amount of self-discipline.

New resolution. Vs. brush teeth. No one fulfills new year resolution.

Method: create and maintain rituals!

Eg, athletes do exercises as ritual. Run before class. Have two ritual dates a week with wife. Write a thank-you note.

Negative rituals. Eg, not check emails during work.

Give yourself 30 days for a ritual. No more than have 2 rituals a time. After that, have a new one. Easy to maintain than to create.

Eg, less efficient after stopping squash training. Because I give up my ritual. Become efficient again by creating new rituals.

Cognitive reconstruction. Neural pathways define behavior preference. Same tough family, opposite effect. depend on interpretation.

0412

eg, want to quit Harvard. treat it as a challenge, a wonderful opportunity, instead of THREAT. if I can overcome it, I can overcome anywhere else.

relationship. to be known.

1. incubation, preparation is vital for creativity.

2.take time off. the mind works during break. eg, hang out, listen to music.

evaluate: last? real?

Lecture 12

write about painful experience by A-B-C in journal. only 15 min * 3 per day * 3 day. anxiety fisrt goes up, then decrease.

common channels for negative and positive emotions. open up and allow emotion to flow.

write about peak experience.

work the same as sharing with friends.

0413

Life is hard. Some people deal better and life overall happy life. Study the people.

1. Understand the world, make sense of it.

2. Manage.

3. Sense of meaningfulness. Worthy do deal with.

Habit is a flood. A loop.

Meditation. Intervention Through Behavior or cognition. Analyse in journal by learned theory. Exercise, Yoga, relaxing music. Gradual exposure, imaginary practice.

The process of change is rewarding and enjoyable. It is process not outcome. Elevate life by conscious endeavor.

Goal setting.

Material to happiness.

Goals focus us, bring forth resources. Strengthen resilience. Focus on the future. 'What for' lead to 'how'. Real and goal, minds want consistency.

Goal, children on the bus. Necessity opens up opportunity.

Same with commitment. Question become how after goals are set.

Not attaining a goal, but having a goal makes us happy. Long-lasting, not peak spike. Focus on the present, the base level. Learn to enjoy the process.

So many high-achievers are unhappy. Before they get there, they think they will be happy after they get there. When they get there, they still do not and thus feel helpless.

4/14

happiness is the experience of climbing toward the peak, having a goal in mind.

'Should have taken the other path.' It doesn't matter. As long as you committed, enjoy the journey. progress toward one goal.

do things that you care about.

Identify things that you can do. Out of those, identify those you want to do. -you really want to do.

4/18

become self-concordant.

seize the day. do want you want.

Lecutre 13

benefit of self-concordance: happier; have a goal, resolve inside conflict, uncertainty, away from anxiety and focus;

to resolve conflict: have a coordinate goal.

do it better with pressure.

case: taken care of vs. do their own thing, have choice. latter happier, healthier.

4/29,6/25,7/8

too easy is not good. stress is necessary.

VIA questionnaire, DSM.

define 24 universal character strength.

self-concordant goal, journey. real me: feel most myself,natural= character strength. Do I feel authentic? active and alive.

26:00 help deal with negative, by building capacity/immunity.

Step 1: find character strength

online test.

apply till it becomes a habit.

how to apply to solve problem.

make decision.

work orientation. job, career, calling. perception of work.

eg, investment banking--creating jobs. see positive components.

most noble: listen to inner voice. begin with yourself. what can't we live without.

Setting goals:

write them down;

set lifelines (instead of deadline), concrete, specific (to energize);

set new goals when achieved;

break down, long-term goal, short-term, plan.

Stress:

45% percent of Harvard stressed to not functional. nationwide, global epidemic.

study the healthy ones. set rituals; set rituals for work and recovery.

stress is actually good. ~gym, take breaks.

problem is lack of recovery! [true! eg, GJ playing games]. be a sprinter rather than a marathon runner, sprint and recover. 60-90 min + 15 min recovery by music, gym, meditation. flexbiile ritual.

multi-level recovery. rest, sleep, vacations. a day off once a week.

Lecture 14

hope you fail more.

chronic stress due to lack of recovery.

need for physical exercise.

key is focus, both on work and on recovery.

'I'll always love you'

This is modern life, 10+9.5<>19.5, not able to enjoy. leads to frustration.

turn off email when focus is required.

Do less. identify what we really want to do.overwork.

sustainable growth, replenish.

procrastination.

5 min take-off, just push, through action. start acting and then be inspired. just do it.

tell people what you are going to do. forced to do it.

do it with others.

write down goals, make a list.

permission to recreate, recover.

change perfectionism to excellence.

7/11/15

imitate a model, train like him.

need to understand myself better. understand it to overcome it.

(I can draw a small circle.)

learn to fail or fail to learn.

危机=危+机

be prepared to fail. succeed in showing what did not work.

psychological safety: not afraid of talking about mistakes.

Lecture 15 Perfectionism

Significant failure. as a turning point. make the best of what happens.

on journey. different skema of perfectionist vs. excellence. perfection is fantasy, fighting against nature.

features of perf.: defensiveness; overgeneralize; no acceptance, no deviation; terrified of failure; constant pressure, temporary happiness, rat racer; all or nothing.

stress and anxiety.

cause procrastination. no act, no failure.

(吃饼干,中间一格只有两块,印象中发生过,包括视频中的黑板,以及我记录下这些事件本身)

excellence: enjoy the journey; lasting satisfaction; more successful and happier than perfectionist.

Pareto principle. 20% time to finish 80% work. own biological clock.

Source of perfectionism:

expect reward, but the journey is not rewarded, and failure is not rewarded.

reward the effort. permission to be human.

social effect.

eg, praise for smart or hard work.

How to overcome:

First step: awareness.

reward effort.

active acceptance.

7/12/15

Lecture 16

What is the positive model rather than the perfectionism? The only difference is the enjoy the journey.

How to overcome: key is behavior. eg, wait before defence. imagine the good scence. see current effort as preparation. compassion for yourself, accept our failure like others. share with others.

A trick: Permission to be human; respect reality, reframe as Positive; change Perspective, distract from negative emotion, will it matter after a year.

Part II:Mind-body.

Most problems happen necks down.

30 min physical exercise, 4 times a week; mindful meditation; 8 h of sleep, 12 hugs a day.

1. Physical exercise.

It's a need, as O2. animal nature.

Major depression treated by exercise, lasting effect.

increase self-esteem.

reduce chronic diseases.

better sex.

timing: listen to your body.

importance of recovery.

How to:

Start gradually after break/recovery; social support.

7/13/2015

Lecture 17 Mind-body

Only aerobic exercise? it cannot be substituted.

interval training. sprint and rest, is more intensive.

the more variety, the better.

exercise should be the last thing to give up. make it a ritual. just do it.

2. meditation

Taiji or Qigong, focus on breath.

Enlightened, clarity. the world is so beautiful. clean the window.

meditation: focus on present.

effect: easier to be happy, rescilient to stress. no startle reaction. reduced anxiety. stronger immune response.

Do we have time?sitting meditation; walking meditation. [haha]

45 min, 15-20 min per day is effective.

mindfulness meditation.

first level: awareness. feel it somewhere in the body. accept and observe it. deviate from depressed/ruminating/fixing pathway. let it heal.

two methods: body scan.cognitive reconstruction.

(meditation exercise.)

mechanism: from doing to being.

three deep breahting can transform your life. eg, when red light.

7/22

Lecture 18 Love

Sleep.

average 8 hours of sleep. wake up natually to test.

as an investment. physical immune system, energy level, lack of sleep cause weight increase, cognitive function, lack of sleep cause depression (dream good things later and solve problems first).

Tips: naps during the day. not eat or exercise too late. permission to be human. what rhythm is right for you?

(mom)

Touch.

physical and mental health. touch help solve sexual problems. touch is a need, study of babies. touch deprivation of monkeys. 12 hugs a day for growth. win-win.

Relationship.

no. 1 predictor of happiness.

recover more quickly. thriving relationship. win-win. right amount. introverts: higher level of arousal. introverts need recovery after being extraverts.

men benefit more. more to share.

quiet desperation. failure to sustain love over time. wears over time, adaptaion. novelty excites more.

accept nature.

understand true love. no perfect love.

what makes successful long-term relationship?

appreciate the good.

Lecture 19

wrong expectation. focus too much on finding 'the right one'. finding mindset.

cultivating mindset. Shakespeare on fictions/art vs. history. popular movies focus on finding mindset.

contact hypothesis. contact is not enough for improving relationship. have a common goal. active marriage. behavior affect emotion and cognition.

1. rituals.

2. to be known. express rather than validate and impress, open up and reveal. do not suppress. risky? no, long-term growth. love real me, or the image? partners validate each other.

3. allow conflict. 1:7=conflict:positive interaction. immunity. strengthen positive. love is in the detail. show interest, get to know. pay compliment. empathy. more touching.

4. sex, physcial component. communication is important.

5. focus on the behavior, not the person. avoid hostility and contempt.

why treat others better?

positive illusion. benefit finder. it's self-fulfilling prophercy.

7/23

Lecture 20

By TF Shawn

The Office (TV show).

Human, as a mindful lens.Wu-tang band.

laugh. hard to define humor.

Freud. super-ego, social constraint. humor: social acceptable way to vent our repression.

Bergson. to correct our trajectory, toward self-actualization.

break social rules. eg, American and European jokes.

based on the way of counterfact. objective and subjective. after-image.

define mindfulness: being present in the situation, potential for change.

Benefits: sym. nerv. system, stronger; parasym. nerv. sys, calm down. humor activate parasympathetic system. strengthen immune system. reduce stress response/cortisol.

mirror neuron. empathy.

Ways to increase humor.

1. write down things and change them.

2. watch funny people.

3. two-question process. break pattern.

Lecture 21 Relationship; Self-esteem

ideal friend. a beautiful enemy. help as opposition. You make me want to be a better man.

importance of questions. not what to improve, but what to appreciate, what is working.

communicate about positive events. constructive responding. active/passive; constructive/destructive. genuine.

no shortcut.

selfish or ultruistic teacher/partner.

Self-esteem.

I am punished by success. rock up and down the hill. read 'Emile'.

definition: judgment and feeling about oneself. feeling ofconfidenceand experiece ofworthiness.

benefit. ability to cope; relationship; prophecy; happiness; rescilence.

arrogance and narcess: pseudo-selfest.

self-est is founded in reality. product of hard work.

1. integrity. under-promise and over-deliver.

2. know yourself, have self-concordent goal.

3. take responsibility. self-assertiveness, say yes or no.

paradox. coexistence of success and low self-est.

3*2: A. dependece self-est; indep self-est; unconditional self-est. a. worthiness; b. competence. Ab=comparison with others. Bb=compare with self.

to deal with A, accept it.

Lecture 22 Self-esteem

12/23/15 finish it this holiday!

self-esteem research. break down to components.

dependent; need approval.

independent; internal voice.

unconditional. not matter even self-evaluation. pure experience.

not intentional to avoid dependent self-esteem. let it be, permission to be human.

not need to be intentional modest. being real. like a baby learning to walk, learn sense of self. assert ourselves. It takes time.

identify my passion, my calling. ask questions. express ourselves, not to impress.

Why is important to be independent?

relationship, interdependent, differentiate. can disagree without feeling isolated.

How to enhance self-esteem?

Behave calmly.

Physical exercise.

Pursue their passion. Thought experiment, what would you do when no one know/see you? [A perfect question!]

Genuine humble behavior. honor is essentially honoring, believing oneself. internally generated honor will chase me.

time affluence. no time- conform to the group. In cold state, think.

integrity. be conscious about words to impress. be known rather than validated.

Be yourself in daily journal, then extend to communication.

[Method:

Self-test would help. Try to recap this course and take actions.]

Lecture 23

12/30/15

reflect: 2 interesting things, 2 commitments. share with another one.

self-concordant goal. compassion toward self and others mingled.

limiting belief, chip off.

We can get over bad things quickly.

To be known, not validated. desire to be known. express. the most personal is also the most general.

be grateful.

circumstance not take over happiness. take a more active role. perception.

permission to be human.

reframe the question. question create reality.

maintain integrity. My words count, I count.

happiness is the ultimate currency. not about high or low expectation, but about right or wrong expectation.

doing less is more. quality and quantity.

simplicity on the other side of complexity. hang on, then it will become clear.

courage is not about being fearless. behavioral change, not in theory.

look for calling.

not avoid, I need to make the change.

stretch yourself and make you stronger.

prioritize people, they matter most.

Summarize:

The question you ask. ask positive questions, about myself, partners.

belief creates reality.

ask questions, want to learn more.

stretch, take risk. coping.

visualization.

learn to fail. no shortcut. practice over and over. failure is inevitable, not perfect.

growth mindset.

permission to be human. accept it, just as law of gravity.

journal, share.

appreciate, focus on what is working.

There cannot be too many great things. 2 great songs=noise.simplify, say no. find out what you really want to do, do it.

no.1 indicator: relationship. invest, share, open up.

mind-body. exercise 4 times a week. deep breath. sleep. hug.

be known rather than validated.

change. behavioral changes.

Take care of yourself first.

Be the change you want.

Finish 12/30/15.

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