雅思大作文002–现代通讯工具对我们有好处吗?(2017年8月真题)(文末附修改思路和修改稿)

图片发自简书App

一、原题:Some groups of people benefit a lot from modern communication technology, but some others find they benefit a little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

二、审题:这是一篇科技类题材的观点型作文。题目要求讨论的是现代通讯工具对我们到底没有好处。关键词是“现代通讯工具”、“益处”。我的立场是:现代通讯工具对我们有利有弊,我们要学习趋利避害,正确发挥现代通讯工具的作用。

三、正文:

With the development of information technology, modern communication devices become more and more diverse and advanced, and to some degree, it is quietly transforming and revolutionalizing our life. Yet there are opposing views towards modern communication technology. Some people believe they benefit a lot from it while others hold opposite position. In my opinion, both views are understandable and we should learn how to make best use of the modern communication technology.

主体:

For some people, modern communication techniques such as mobile phones, instant messaging software like WeChat, QQ makes their life easier and more efficient. Wherever they are and whenever it is, if there arises some emergency they can use their mobile phone to keep in touch with their family members and friends and have the issue promptly settled. As for instant messaging app, people can even send images, sound and videos to their friends or coworkers to make the communication more effective and helpful. What’s more, in WeChat app, we can also set up chat group to effectively discuss any problems and connect with each other even if we are far away from each other or we are not available simultaneously. Therefore, in this way, our life and work become much more convenient and productive.

On the other hand, modern communication technology comes with it a lot of drawbacks which makes many people feel very desperate. For instance, many teachers are very hopeless that some of their students who are addicted to mobile video games and couldn’t concentrate on their study in class. Besides, for many ordinary mobile phone users, they suffer hugely from the large amount of spam phone calls and text messages. As for instant messaging apps like WeChat, QQ or Weibo(Chinese version of Twitter), their subscribers are constantly harassed by the enormous fake or useless messages, and their precious time and energy are sucked mercilessly. I once run into a story of some artists who go to the extrem to throw away their smart phones to stay focused on their creative works.

结尾:

To conclude, modern communications technology have both advantages and disadvantages for us modern people. A sensible understanding of the proper use of it, an utilization of self discipline and government regulation are all felt necessary to better harness the positive functions of this modern invention to serve the needs of us human beings.

四、校对和订正

这一步自己独立完成,通读全文,在正文中直接修改。因篇幅问题,在这里我就不具体示范啦。

五、他人范文对比以及学习和反思。

这一步我晚点回来与大家分享。

六、下面分享我阅读唐伟胜老师微信公众号《唐老雅英语写作工作室》同题目雅思范文的心得体会以及一稿的修改稿。

从唐老师的雅思范文中我从三个方面进行了研读:一是:思路;二是:素材;三是:语言表达。

唐老师的范文使用的是双边讨论的平衡法,和我的思路类似。不过,他的开头更加言简意赅,直入主题值得我学习。在素材方面,他使用了跨国公司管理、推特协助换肾和数字交流对人际交往的危害来论证数码通讯的利弊,感觉还是比较有力和新颖。

从唐老师的例证中我还联想到了使用社交媒体轻松筹款帮助有需要的人以及帮助找寻失踪的人员等的数码技术的用途。在今后类似主题的作文中我觉得可以考虑尝试使用。

语言表达方面,我学习到了唐老师的“impair face-to-face communication”, “root for the advent of modern communication technology”, “sending digital pictures and videos”, “What remains to be done is that we make the best use of them and reduce the risks they may involve” 等地道有用的短语和句型。

以下是我根据上面学到的东西对一稿做的一个修改。

With the development of information technology, modern communication devices become more and more diverse and advanced, and to some degree, it is quietly transforming and revolutionalizing our life. Yet there are mixed views towards modern communication technology. Some people believe they benefit a lot from it while others hold opposite position. In my opinion, both views are understandable and we should learn how to make best use of the modern communication technology.

主体:

For some people, modern digital communication techniques such as mobile phones, instant messaging software like WeChat, QQ makes their life easier and more efficient. Wherever they are and whenever it is, if there arises some emergency they can use their mobile phone to keep in touch with their family members and friends and have the issue promptly settled. As for instant messaging app, people can even send images, sound and videos to their friends or coworkers to make the communication more efficient and effective. What’s more, in WeChat app, we can also set up chat group to effectively discuss any problems and connect with each other even if we are far away from each other or we are not available simultaneously. People can even raise funds to help those in need and search missing people on the social media which are unimaginable in the past non-digital era. Therefore, in this way, our life and work become much more convenient and productive.

On the other hand, modern communication technology comes with it a lot of drawbacks which makes many people feel very desperate. For instance, many teachers are very hopeless that some of their students who are addicted to mobile video games and couldn’t concentrate on their study in class. Besides, for many ordinary mobile phone users, they suffer hugely from the large amount of spam phone calls and text messages. As for instant messaging apps like WeChat, QQ or Weibo(Chinese version of Twitter), their subscribers are constantly harassed by the enormous fake or useless messages, and their precious time and energy are sucked mercilessly. I once run into a story of some artists who go to the extrem to throw away their smart phones to stay focused on their creative works.

结尾:

To conclude, modern communications technology have both advantages and disadvantages for us modern people. A sensible understanding of the proper use of it, an utilization of self discipline and government regulation are all felt necessary to better harness the positive functions of this modern invention to serve the needs of us human beings.

最后编辑于
©著作权归作者所有,转载或内容合作请联系作者
  • 序言:七十年代末,一起剥皮案震惊了整个滨河市,随后出现的几起案子,更是在滨河造成了极大的恐慌,老刑警刘岩,带你破解...
    沈念sama阅读 158,847评论 4 362
  • 序言:滨河连续发生了三起死亡事件,死亡现场离奇诡异,居然都是意外死亡,警方通过查阅死者的电脑和手机,发现死者居然都...
    沈念sama阅读 67,208评论 1 292
  • 文/潘晓璐 我一进店门,熙熙楼的掌柜王于贵愁眉苦脸地迎上来,“玉大人,你说我怎么就摊上这事。” “怎么了?”我有些...
    开封第一讲书人阅读 108,587评论 0 243
  • 文/不坏的土叔 我叫张陵,是天一观的道长。 经常有香客问我,道长,这世上最难降的妖魔是什么? 我笑而不...
    开封第一讲书人阅读 43,942评论 0 205
  • 正文 为了忘掉前任,我火速办了婚礼,结果婚礼上,老公的妹妹穿的比我还像新娘。我一直安慰自己,他们只是感情好,可当我...
    茶点故事阅读 52,332评论 3 287
  • 文/花漫 我一把揭开白布。 她就那样静静地躺着,像睡着了一般。 火红的嫁衣衬着肌肤如雪。 梳的纹丝不乱的头发上,一...
    开封第一讲书人阅读 40,587评论 1 218
  • 那天,我揣着相机与录音,去河边找鬼。 笑死,一个胖子当着我的面吹牛,可吹牛的内容都是我干的。 我是一名探鬼主播,决...
    沈念sama阅读 31,853评论 2 312
  • 文/苍兰香墨 我猛地睁开眼,长吁一口气:“原来是场噩梦啊……” “哼!你这毒妇竟也来了?” 一声冷哼从身侧响起,我...
    开封第一讲书人阅读 30,568评论 0 198
  • 序言:老挝万荣一对情侣失踪,失踪者是张志新(化名)和其女友刘颖,没想到半个月后,有当地人在树林里发现了一具尸体,经...
    沈念sama阅读 34,273评论 1 242
  • 正文 独居荒郊野岭守林人离奇死亡,尸身上长有42处带血的脓包…… 初始之章·张勋 以下内容为张勋视角 年9月15日...
    茶点故事阅读 30,542评论 2 246
  • 正文 我和宋清朗相恋三年,在试婚纱的时候发现自己被绿了。 大学时的朋友给我发了我未婚夫和他白月光在一起吃饭的照片。...
    茶点故事阅读 32,033评论 1 260
  • 序言:一个原本活蹦乱跳的男人离奇死亡,死状恐怖,灵堂内的尸体忽然破棺而出,到底是诈尸还是另有隐情,我是刑警宁泽,带...
    沈念sama阅读 28,373评论 2 253
  • 正文 年R本政府宣布,位于F岛的核电站,受9级特大地震影响,放射性物质发生泄漏。R本人自食恶果不足惜,却给世界环境...
    茶点故事阅读 33,031评论 3 236
  • 文/蒙蒙 一、第九天 我趴在偏房一处隐蔽的房顶上张望。 院中可真热闹,春花似锦、人声如沸。这庄子的主人今日做“春日...
    开封第一讲书人阅读 26,073评论 0 8
  • 文/苍兰香墨 我抬头看了看天上的太阳。三九已至,却和暖如春,着一层夹袄步出监牢的瞬间,已是汗流浃背。 一阵脚步声响...
    开封第一讲书人阅读 26,830评论 0 195
  • 我被黑心中介骗来泰国打工, 没想到刚下飞机就差点儿被人妖公主榨干…… 1. 我叫王不留,地道东北人。 一个月前我还...
    沈念sama阅读 35,628评论 2 274
  • 正文 我出身青楼,却偏偏与公主长得像,于是被迫代替她去往敌国和亲。 传闻我的和亲对象是个残疾皇子,可洞房花烛夜当晚...
    茶点故事阅读 35,537评论 2 269

推荐阅读更多精彩内容