Sharing by Lark Doley, DTM, Toastmasters President-Elect, at PeopleSquare Toastmasters International, on May 16, 2018.
Leadership is influence. -John C. Maxwell
Every single day, we have the opportunity to influence others, and they influence us. -Lark Doley
Leadership is influence, nothing more and nothing less.
I want you to think about your day today. Who influenced you? and who did you influence?
Yesterday, I had the privilege to arrive in Shanghai, and I was greeted by Miya. The first thing that I saw on her face was a smile. Is that influence? This is absolutely influence! So every single day we are influenced by others, and we influence others.
Today I was greeted by BoBo. Any of you know BoBo? Do you think BoBo was smiling when you first meet him?
The first thing I saw BoBo face was a smile and BoBo smile the rest of the day. We went on a tour and he took me to lunch and then dropped me off at my hotel. I miss BoBo’s smile. Tonight, each one of you reading me with a smile, that is a positive influence. And in every aspect of Toastmasters, I want you to influence one another, positively.
Positive influence is powerful. When you think about the individuals in your life who have influenced you? Think about those who have influenced you personally, and those who have influenced you professionally.
And when you think about influence, It’s not only who is it, it’s also what influences us. Now all of you have in your packets the amazing packets put together by People-Square Toastmasters. There is a golden paper in there. And when I want you to capture some information on the first item is I want you to write down who has influence. You must write the name of an individual who influenced you personally. Often we think of our parents, we think of friends, family, I want you to think of one individual who has influenced you significantly in your personal life.
Write down a name.
Who has influenced me the most personally
When I think of the individual who has influenced me the most personally, it absolutely is my mother. She loves us unconditionally. I've never seen a person in my life who loved so deeply. She loved her children unconditionally. No matter what we did in our lives, that unconditional love continued. And she had a favourite name for all of us. And that name was ANGEL. She called everyone angel. But I can tell you the only true angel on this planet was my mother.
[INTERACTIVE -1] Lark: So when you think of who influence you personally? Who is it? And tonight we're going to have tabletopics before the tabletopic. I want you to tell me who is influenced you personally, and I just want one sentence and how that individual has influenced you personally. All right, stand up for me your name and tell us who influenced you in one sentence.
Who has influenced me the most professionally
When I think about individuals who influenced me professionally, I had a gentleman who was my algebra(代数) teacher in high school, hire me at Texas-Instruments(德州仪器), and that began my journey of employment at Texas-Instruments. Then John Schmidt at Texas-Instruments gave me my first management job at Texas-Instruments.
But what was very interesting is two weeks after John Schmidt promoted me to a manager of Texas-Instruments. He was replaced, he moved on to another position and was replaced by a gentleman who called into his office and said “Lark, you need to know one thing. If I had been the manager two weeks ago, you would not have been promoted.”
Can influence be positive or negative? It can! And I told you on Toastmasters, I want our influence to be positive.
But can we learn from each? Absolutely!
What I learned from that negative influence was that I had to prove to him that I was the right choice. And in the next year, I documented everything I did. And I proved to him that I was the right choice. And actually, at the end of the year, I got his job！
[INTERACTIVE -2] Lark: All right. I want to hear two stories about individuals who have influenced you professionally. I'm going to walk down this aisle. All right, who would like to talk about professional influence?
Now, what influences you?
What influences you? I can tell you that Toastmasters influences me. I truly believe that this organization changes lives every single day, and that is a huge influence on my life.
Are you influence by charitable causes? Are you influenced by promotions?Are you influenced by money? What influences you?
I want you to write down one thing that influences you. One thing that influences your life, personally or professionally. And I’ll tell you a story about my husband.
Story about my husband
My husband loved children, and it was the second marriage for both of us. I did not realize how much you love children until one of our Toastmaster couples had a baby girl. By the way, I understand in China that it's not where leaders are made, but where couples made.[Aha~~]Couples and leaders are made here. But this was a Toastmaster couple and they had a baby girl.
One month after the baby girl was born. We had a Toastmaster party, a holiday party and they brought their one-month-old baby girl. As soon as I walked in the door my husband took the baby girl from them and kept the baby girl for the rest of the evening until they went. And I look at it, we have two sons, my beautiful stepsons but I had no idea they have this incredible affinity for babies, but I’m sure they were sleep deprived the new parents. So they were probably thrilled that he took the baby from them for a couple of hours. So during the night he just held on to the baby and then after that he babysat for Stephanie until they left Austin, Texas.
But he loved children. And when we joined a local church, he became a volunteer in the infant(婴儿) room on sunday mornings. And they have a special symbol for him. If they were having difficulty with a baby, they had a projector and they would project the number 73, and 73 is a prime number. If any of you ever watch big bang theory is the best prime number, but they would project 73. And Roger, my husband, would know that he needed to go to the infant room to help. He became a court-appointed special advocate for children as well. It’s called concept in the United States.
And he represented children whose parents were not being good parents and literally represented the children in court. My husband loved children and believe that they need to be loved. And there was no possibility in this world that a child should ever, ever, receive abuse. And he did everything during his time on this planet to make sure that he was promoting love of children.
[INTERACTIVE -3] Lark: So what influences you?
So who has influenced you and what has influenced you? This is the beginning of leadership.
Every single day, we have the opportunity to influence others, and they influence us.
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader!
So your actions, do they inspire others?
Do they inspire others to dream?
Do they inspire others to learn?
Do they inspire others to do to become?
I will tell you in Toastmasters, my mentors have inspired me. That's why I'm here today.
You and I have the responsibility to encourage others to be. We have a responsibility at a club level at the area, the division, the district, at the region, at the international level, to act and tell others, they-can-be-leaders!
If I had not been told I could be a leader, I would not be here today.
In 2014, when my husband died, my world collapsed around him. And Toastmasters are the ones who brought me back.
When I attended the meeting, one Toastmaster asked, “What is your next step?” At that point, I couldn't even think of that. I was overcome with weak at the death of my husband. But because they asked me and they told me they felt I was capable, I went home and I sort the help of friends and said “What do you think? Do you think I can do this?”
And they said, “If you do this, you will be there, every-step-of-the-way, and they were.”
That's why I'm here today. You Inspire Me! Toastmasters members around the globe, inspiring. You inspire me to dream or this organization to learn more, to do more and to become more.
What about you? Are you in finding the others to dream, to learn, to do, and become? We all need to do this, every day.We can make a difference. And the life of each one of us, by doing this, by identifying those who have potential and telling us.
So, how have you influenced people personally? How have you influence them professionally?Literally, what is your influence?
I want you to write down one person you influence personally. I want you to write down one person you influence professionally. And finally, what is your level of influence? When you think about it? What is your level of influence?
I have been so blest to know so many individuals within this organization. And truly there's an individual that he said I influenced him personally. He was an incredible mentor to me, but we were kind of a mentor-mentee on both sides. And he said that he progressed in Toastmasters because I had encouraged him.
Dear friend of mine, my campaign manager and an incredibly intelligent, talented Toastmaster and professional. As far as professionally. Lately, I have been mentoring and individual at my company who is fairly new to the training department. And I have been mentoring him to encourage and expect more responsibility. And through that encouragement he has. And my boss recently sent him to Washington DC. And he is the lead trainer over a whole new training project. He thanked me for that. He's the one that she did that he said that because of my mentorship, he had the courage to go to my manager and expressed his desire to do more, be more, and has succeeded in that. And literally, he is training so proud of him. I wish I could be there, but it's great to be here to cheer you on, but I'm cheering him on my email as well.
And then what is our level of influence? Well, at work I’m a trainer and I try to influence as many individuals within the company as I can through that training as well as certainly to encourage the training team. But in Toastmasters, I have the privilege to visit districts and I have the privilege to talk with you and you are the ones who teach me. I take back what you've taught me to be a better officer in this organization to better serve you.
[INTERACTIVE -4] Lark: All right, so now I want to hear someone who's been reviewed influence personally. Alright, someone you don't want personally, he wants to tell me I back row. All right, one sentence, give us your name and the name of the person and how you can influence them personally.
So in your profession, you have a career and you have skills and expertise. So that's influence, correct? So you have that in Toastmasters, you can influence the members of your blood. And depending on whether you're an officer or not, you can influence the operation of a club.
[INTERACTIVE -5] Lark: So i'd like one of you to talk to me about your influence, one of you to talk me about your influence.
Leader need to create more leaders. We're not here to create followers were here to create leaders.
So again, are you creating lead more leaders?
How are you developing the leader yourself?
How are you developing a leader and others?
How are you doing that today?
And then how will do it tomorrow?
How will you develop the leader in yourself?
How will you develop a leader and others?
When I think about my leadership journey, It’s been a long one. They told you that I’ve been Toastmasters almost twenty years and I will tell you in 1990, I had no idea about the leadership roles and Toastmasters, the leadership opportunities and Toastmasters. Now-I-do.
I want each of you to develop your influence. You're developing it every day. You are influencing someone ever did. I want you to take advantage of every leadership opportunity that this organization has to offer. It's all up to you, the level of influence, the level of positions you want in this organization are all here for you.
What is your next goal?
Is it a communication goal?
Is it a leadership goal?
Do you want to be the world champion of public speaking?
Do you want to be the next president of Toastmasters international?
Whatever your goals are, we have opportunities for you, the new pathways program combines communication and leadership.
I want all of you to take your assessment and pathways to choose your path and to begin your journey in pathways. But I also want all of you to have positive influence every day at whatever level of leadership you want, for this organization. Someone is your next show.
Steve Jobs, we all know that Steve Jobs life was quite short. He died at the age of 56, but when I think it is to have influenced our world, he is definitely one of them. What would we do without our smartphones? What would we do without music at our fingertips? What would we do without the innovative ideas that he brought to fruition at apple? And of course, now throughout the world, other companies have done the same. Steve Jobs, a-man-of-influence!
What's your influence? Who is influence to you? But more importantly,