Good evening, Toastmasters and distinguished guests. Before my speech, I’d like to show you some numbers of my survey result. I delivered a questionary on last Tuesday and 97 persons answered them. It shows two thirds of them are influenced by bad memories from almost 20 years ago. It means among Niki Emily and Laura, maybe both Niki and Laura are bothered by childhood traumas. More than that, there might be three friends in this room are suffering the trauma badly. To be honest, I was in the blue section months ago. And I also worried that my son may have gotten the childhood traumas from me. But since I begin to learn Positive Psychology, I got the courage to be my own hero to overcome traumas. Tonight, I wanna share my trip with you sincerely.
According to the survey, most of the childhood traumas were caused by our dearest and nearest. Mine was from my mother. I have a brother who is 2 years younger than me. My earliest memory is about my grandma and I. I was so happy to be with her. She was the warm sunshine of me. But after my mother quit her job and raised my younger brother and I at the same time, then my bad time came. The overwhelming memory was I rushed at a brick wall and hit against it with my head trying to kill myself. I hated my mother when I was a little child.
I had never heard of the “childhood traumas” until I read some psychology books in the university library. I felt so relieved that finally I got one reason to explain my bad temper, my coldness. Don’t you feel the same way when you find someone to blame? Can you get the power to overcome your weakness from the explanations of “childhood traumas”? I can’t. I was so anxious during I dealt with the relationship with my son. The more I don’t want to copy my mother the worse I behaved. Mater Wugui said “One meets its destiny on the road he takes to avoid it”.
As my son is growing up, I can talk with him more and more. Every time after I lost my temper, I take actions to recover the relationship. I apologize, explain the story and brainstorming solutions with him. But I was still worried. I worried traumas may have been planted by me. I worried his teachers, peers or others may cause traumas to him too.
One basic theory of positive psychology is that, if you focus on the things you want instead of the things you don’t want, you will get the power and wisdom to work out solutions. Don’t let the past drag you into the past jail. The only meaning of past is to remind you, you should move on to another solution.
After I buy in this idea, I fill my glass with hope and belief that I can overcome my miseries if I keep trying to find solutions. So I explain my childhood traumas in this way: Bad memories was inevitable when we were small. We didn’t have the power and capabilities to express ourself, to influence others, to explain what happened. I understand my mother is a nice and reasonable woman. She works hard, she never tried to hurt others. She is just not soft. She just wanted me to well behave like an elder sister.
One day, I told my son: I think you and I are heroes. I meet problems, you meet problems, and then we work hard to resolve them, just like heroes in the movies and books who defeat their enemies again and again. Sometimes, the enemy is so strong that the hero may almost die, but in the end, the hero will find a way to come back, to become even stronger and then win the battle.
So dear friends, Are you going to kick off your own hero trip?