L12 U5 Awkward situations

Module 1 Talking about awkawrd situations

1. Awkward situations

  • rational 理性的
  • care about 关心
  • far-off 距离遥远的
  • reassure 保证
  • support 支持(动词)
  • get on with 友好相处
  • consider 考虑
  • offensive 无礼的
  • embarrassed 尴尬的

尴尬场景:每个人或多或少都遭遇过尴尬的场景。学习有关尴尬场景的这个词汇。

  • He was being totally offensive. It was really awkward. 他非常无礼。场面真的很尴尬。
  • She was embarrassed when he told her how much he cared about her. 当他告诉她他有多么关心她时,她感到十分尴尬。
  • There's a lot to consider in a relationship with someone in a far-off country. 如果恋爱对象身处遥远的异国,需要考虑的问题是很多的。
  • I reassured my friends that I supported their relationship. 我向朋友们保证自己一定支持他们谈恋爱。

get on with是英式英语。美式英语的说法是get along with。

  • She gets on with him very well. 她和他相处甚欢。
  • She gets along with him very well. 她和他相处甚欢。

get on with也可以表示开始做某事。你可以用这个短语表示没有耐心的意思。

  • I'm tired of waiting. Please get on with it! 我都等烦了。赶紧开始吧!

这是更多有关尴尬场景的表达。短语faux pas源自法语。注意这三个表达都包含动词 make。

  • He made a terrible faux pas when he asked her how old she was. 他问她多大是极其失礼的。
  • She made a blunder wearing the same dress as the hostess. 她穿的像主人一样,这是她的一大失误
  • I feel like I'm always making mistakes in social situations. 我感觉自己在社交场合总是犯错。
  • How do you get along with such an offensive guy? 你怎么可以受得了这么粗鲁的一个人呢?
  • I totally support their decision to be together. 我完全支持他们在一起的决定。
  • I can reassure you that I've considered it thoroughly. 我向你保证我已经仔细考虑过了。
  • It was an awkward situation, and I felt embarrassed. 场面很尴尬,我很难堪。
  • We all make mistakes sometimes in social situations. 我们难免都会在社交场合犯错。
  • He's in a far-off country, but she cares about him. 他在遥远的异国他乡,但她很关心他。

2. Review:auxiliary verbs 复习:助动词

不规则动词be既可做主动词又可作助动词。做助动词时be和主动词一起用在进行时和被动语态中。

  • They were getting along very well until he told an offensive joke. 在他开了那个无礼的玩笑之前他们一直相处得很好。
  • She was embarrassed by him and left the party early. 她被他弄得很难堪,提早离开了派对。

不规则动词have既可做主动词又可作助动词。做助动词时,have和主动词一起用在完成时态中。

  • He had told the joke several times before he realized it was offensive. 这个玩笑他开了好几遍才意识到自己过分了。
  • Have you considered getting a new boyfriend? 你想过要找个新男友吗?

助动词do用在问句和否定句中。

  • Does he often make social blunders like that? 他是不是常犯那种低级错误?
  • She didn't see him again after the party. 那个派对之后她就再也不见他了。

3. Expressing disbelief and shame

  • some things you just don't talk about 有些事你不能说
  • Everybody knows this. 每个人都知道。
  • I am a little ashamed of myself. 我为自己感到有点羞愧。
  • What I did was unacceptable. 我的所作所为让人难以接受。
  • I really put my foot in my mouth. 我真是搬起石头砸自己的脚。
  • What an idiot. 真是个白痴。
  • For heaven's sake! 看在老天的份上!
  • Why on earth would she leave? 她怎么会走呢?
  • I'm so embarrassed. 我太尴尬了。

表达不信任和羞耻: 有几种方式可以表示对某人行为的disbelief(不信任)。

  • He asked about her salary. There are some things you just don't talk about! 他问她薪水的问题。有些事你是不能说的!
  • You don't talk politics or religion at a party. Everybody knows that! 派对上不能谈政治或宗教。这一点是每个人都知道的呀!
  • For heaven's sake! How could he tell such an offensive joke? 看在老天的份上!他怎么能开那么过分的玩笑?
  • Why on earth would she mention his ex-wife? 她到底是为什么一定要提到他前妻呢?
    文化提示:不同的人、不同的文化对于行为恰当的概念会有所不同。无论何时最好花点时间反思一下自己的反应。

有几种表达shame(羞耻)的方式。注意shame可以指为他人感到羞耻,I'm ashamed of you!,也可以指对自己感到羞耻,I'm ashamed of myself。

  • She's ashamed of herself for lying. 她为自己撒谎而感到羞耻。
  • What I did was unacceptable. I need to apologize. 我的所作所为是不能让人接受的。我得道歉。
  • I really put my foot in my mouth when I mentioned her ex-husband. 我提到她前夫的时候真是搬起石头砸自己的脚。
  • What an idiot I am! I completely forgot your birthday. 我真是个白痴!我完全忘记你的生日了。
  • I was so embarrassed for not remembering his name. 因为没能想起来他的名字,我感到非常尴尬。
  • Why on earth did he do that? 他到底为什么那么做?
  • He feels really embarrassed. 他真的感到很尴尬。

Module 2 Dealing with awkward questions

1. Making small talk

  • Heard a lot about you. 久仰大名。
  • Don't make them like that anymore. 现在生产不出这么好的质量了。
  • Couldn't help noticing ... 没法不注意到……
  • bumper sticker 保险杠贴纸
  • I take it you don't vote for Labour. 我想你不会投票支持工党。
  • pension plan 退休金计划
  • go right through the roof (价格)飙升

寒暄:当你在社交场合第一次见到某人时,适当small talk(寒暄)是很重要的。这是一些开始寒暄的小技巧。
如果你之前听说过这个人的名字,可以提到这一点。同时注意如何回应。

  • A: Bob Taylor? Of Horizon Computers? I've heard a lot about you. 鲍勃·泰勒?Horizon电脑公司的吗?久仰大名啊。
  • B: All good, I hope. 希望你听到的都是说我的好话。
  • A: Hi, Penny. It's great to meet you. Jane has told me a lot about you. 嗨,佩妮,见到你真高兴。简跟我说了很多你的事。
  • B: And she's told me a lot about you, too. 她也常跟我说起你。

还有一种开始寒暄的方法是找到一个没有争议的共同话题。这是一些相关表达。同时注意如何回应。

  • A: I couldn't help noticing your pocket watch. It's lovely. 我没法不注意到你的怀表。实在太漂亮了。
  • B: Thanks. It's my grandfather's. 谢谢。这是我爷爷的。
  • A: They don't make them like that anymore. 现在已经不做这样的表了。
  • A: I love the music. I take it you're a big jazz fan. 这种音乐我非常喜欢,我想你应该是一个爵士乐迷。
  • B: That's right. Miles Davis is my favorite. 说对了。迈尔斯·戴维斯是我的最爱。
  • A: Jane told me you're a keen cyclist. 简跟我说你是一个自行车爱好者。
  • B: Yes, I am. How about you? 是的。你呢?
  • A: Nice weather we're having, isn't it? 天气真好,不是吗?
  • B: Yes, it is. Although I heard the temperature's going to go through the roof tomorrow. 是啊。不过我听说明天气温要飙升。

2. Shortened sentences

  • Glad you could finally come over. 真高兴你终于来了。
  • Pleasure's ours. 我们深感荣幸。
  • That your car in the drive? 车道上是你的车?
  • Ford. 福特
  • Escort. 护卫者
  • No politics. 勿谈政治

简化句:在非正式对话中,英语母语人士经常简化语句,方式可以是省略非核心词或合并词汇。注意这几个例子中省略和合并的词。

  • A: Been here long? (Have you been here long?)
  • B: Couple hours. (A couple of hours.)
  • A: Ford? (Is your car a Ford?)
  • B: Escort. (Yes, it's a Ford Escort.)

美国人经常用一般过去时来代替语法更为正确的现在完成时。这是另一种句子简化方式。

  • A: You eat yet? (Did you eat yet? = Have you eaten yet?)
  • B: Nope. (No, not yet.)

3. Dealing with sensitive topics 对敏感话题的处理

有些话题是带有敏感性的,这些话题是否恰当依个人和文化的不同情况而有所不同。如果你有疑问,最好问一下对方话题是否合适。

  • Would you mind if I asked you about your salary? 你介意我问一下你的薪水吗?
  • Would you mind if I asked you about your job? 我问你的工作你介意吗?
  • Do you feel comfortable talking about your job? 谈工作会让你感到不舒服吗?
  • Do you feel comfortable talking about your salary? 谈你的薪水情况会让你不舒服吗?

即便你跟这个人很熟,谈到敏感话题可能还是需要征求对方的同意。

  • Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? 介意我问你一个私人问题吗?

对这类问题的回应还是取决于个人。

  • It all depends. What's the question? 要看情况。问题是什么?
  • Actually, I would mind. 其实,我会介意。
  • I wouldn't mind at all. 我完全不介意。
  • No problem. I'd be happy to talk about that. 没问题。很高兴谈论这个话题。
  • I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable talking about that. 对不起,谈这个话题我会感到不自在。
  • Excuse me, but I don't think that's an appropriate question. 不好意思,我认为这个问题不太合适。

如果你跟一个不同文化的人谈话,或许你要给他们一些关于你们国家文化习俗方面的建议。

  • Ordinarily, people in my country don't ask about salary. 通常我们国家的人不会问薪水方面的问题。
  • That's an inappropriate topic for conversation here. 这个话题在这里说不太合适。
  • Just to let you know, some people might feel uncomfortable with a question like that. 我就想告诉你,这样的问题可能会让一些人不舒服。

Module 3 Managing an awkward situation

1. Expressions for life events

  • tie the knot 喜结良缘(结婚)
  • Two friends of mine have decided to tie the knot. 我的两个朋友决定永结同心了。
  • aspirations 抱负
  • He can't achieve his true aspirations in that job. 他不能在那份工作中实现自己真正的抱负。
  • hold her back 阻止她
  • follow her dreams 追随她的梦想
  • be everything she can be 做最好的她
  • Follow your dreams and be everything you can be! 追随自己的梦想,成为最好的自己!

生活事件的表达:描述诸如离家、找工作和结婚一类的生活事件有多种方式,很多都是idioms(习语)和proverbs(谚语)。

  • They'd only known each other three months before they tied the knot. 他们才认识三个月就喜结良缘了。
  • She's in a bad relationship, and it's holding her back. 她的恋情很糟糕,这让她犹豫不决。
  • Family comes first. Blood is thicker than water. 家人第一。血浓于水。
  • She has a number of career choices. She doesn't want to put all her eggs in one basket. 她有很多职业选择。她不想把所有鸡蛋都放进同一个篮子。

更多关于生活事件的表达:

  • His greatest regret is that he didn't follow his dreams. 他最大的遗憾是没有追随自己的梦想。
  • All my parents ever wanted was for me to be everything I could be. 我父母一直以来最大的愿望就是我可以做最好的自己。
  • Leaving home for the first time can be a bit tough. 第一次离开家会有点难受。

2. Criticizing and responding to criticism

  • You didn't. 你不会说了吧。
  • It's not your place. 不关你的事。
  • What were you thinking? 你想啥呢?
  • That was so rude. What were you thinking? 太无礼了。你想啥呢?
  • Mistake? 犯错?
  • Of course, I don't mean mistake. 当然,我不是指犯错。

批评和回应批评:批评可以是直接的,也可以是间接或者更委婉的。直接的批评通常让人感到更具进攻性,甚至无礼。学习直接的批评方式。注意,请不要轻易对一个人用这样的措辞,除非你对他非常生气。

  • You shouldn't have said that. What were you thinking? 你不该说那样的话。想什么呢?
  • You didn't! That was really stupid! 你没做到!太傻了!
  • How could you be so careless? 你怎么能那么不小心?
  • I can't believe you did that! How rude! 我真不敢相信你做了那样的事!太无礼了!

间接批评通常用在正式或职业场合,一般会让人感觉少一些攻击性。

  • It's not your place to tell her what to do. 告诉她该怎么做不是你分内的事。
  • It's not your place to criticize your colleagues. 你无权批评同事。
  • It was inappropriate of you to say something like that. 你说那样的话是不合适的。
  • I can't believe you said that. It's inappropriate. 真不敢相信你说了那样的话。太不合适了。
  • You really don't have the right to criticize others. 你真的没有权利去批评他人。
  • I don't think you should have been so hard on him. 我认为你不该对他那么严厉。

一个人回应批评的方式往往取决于他对批评的看法。他的回答可能表达歉意,感到内疚,自我辩解或是充满挑衅。注意,最后一例辩解的意味尤为强烈,可能被认为不礼貌。

  • I didn't mean to offend anyone. 我不是有意要冒犯任何人。
  • I didn't mean to do that. I was trying to help. 我不想那样。我只是想帮忙。
  • What I was trying to say was something completely different. 我想说的是完全不同的事。
  • I probably shouldn't have done that. 或许我不应该做那样的事。
  • What gives you the right to criticize me? 你有什么权利批评我?

3. Responding to awkward situations 回应尴尬局面

当人们处于尴尬局面时,他们有各种应对方式。比如,他们可以试着explain themselves(解释自己)。

  • You really shouldn't be so nosy. 你真不该那么闹的。
  • I was only trying to help. I didn't mean to upset them. 我只是想帮忙而已。我可不想让他们难过。

他们可能会deny(否认)自己做过或说过某事。

  • That's not what I said. You misunderstood me. 我没那么说。你误会我了。
  • That wasn't what I was trying to say. 那不是我想说的。
  • They denied whispering during the meeting. 他们否认在会议期间讲小话。

有些人甚至会试着对这样的局面feign ignorance(装糊涂)。

  • I don't understand. I have no idea what you're talking about. 我没明白。我不知道你在说什么。
  • I have no idea what you're talking about. 我完全不知道你在说什么。

或者他们可以apologize(道歉),这通常也是最好的办法。

  • It was inappropriate of me. I apologize. 刚才多有冒犯,我道歉。
  • It's totally inappropriate. 我认为那不合适。

Module 4 Writing a letter of apology

1. Apologizing and responding to apologies

  • I apologize for our misbehavior. 我为我们的不当举止道歉。
  • We didn't plan on being so rude. 我们不是故意这么无礼的。
  • I'm sorry about getting so personal. 对不起,我太针对个人了。
  • I was way out of line. 我太过火了。
  • I apologize sincerely. 我真诚地道歉。
  • At least they apologized. 至少他们道歉了。
  • I'm so sorry 太对不起了。

道歉和回应道歉:在道歉的时候我们常常会描述一下自己的所作所为。我们也有可能会请求原谅。这里是一些用于道歉的表达:

  • I'm so sorry about criticizing your political views. I was way out of line. 实在抱歉,我批评了你的政治观点。我太过分了。
  • I'm so sorry about that. I was way out of line. 对不起。我太过分了。
  • I apologize for offending you. Please forgive me. 抱歉冒犯了你。请原谅我。
  • Please accept my apology. I hope you can forgive me. 请接受我的歉意。我希望你能原谅我。
  • You have my sincere apology. It won't happen again. 我向你致以最诚挚的歉意。以后我再也不做这种事了。

这里是一些接受或拒绝道歉的表达:

  • Don't worry about it. It's not a problem. 别担心。没问题的。
  • Of course, I forgive you. Don't worry about it. 当然,我原谅你。别担心。
  • Thanks for apologizing. You're forgiven. 谢谢你道歉。我原谅你了。
  • I accept your apology. We all make mistakes. 我接受你的道歉。人人都会犯错。
  • I'm sorry, but an apology just isn't enough. 对不起,但是一个道歉远远不够。

2. Comparing with 'as ... as' 用“as…… as”作比较

用as+形容词+as来表示两个某些方面一样或不一样的事物。

  • He wasn't as embarrassed as I was. 他不像我那么尴尬。
  • He wasn't anywhere as convincing as he needed to be. 他的说服力远远不够。

'as … as'比较句也可用副词或副词短语修饰。

  • The situation was not nearly as awkward as I had feared. 局面远非我所担心的那样尴尬。
  • It wasn't nearly as awkward as she'd feared. 远不像她担心的那么尴尬。
  • Her comments were nowhere near as offensive as she thought they were. 她的评语远没有她所想的那么无礼。
  • He was easily as offensive as we'd expected him to be. 他很容易就会变得像我们想的那样无礼了。
  • His apology was not quite as sincere as I had hoped it would be. 他的道歉不及我希望的那么真诚。

3. The perfect apology

The perfect apology
As long ago as 1976, Elton John wrote the line, 'Sorry seems to be the hardest word.' Not much has changed since then – saying sorry is still one of the hardest things to do. Here are six simple steps to make apologizing easier.

Work out what you did wrong
There's no use delivering an emotional, heartfelt apology, only for the person to tell you that was not why they were upset. Before you apologize, work out what you did wrong; if you have to, you can even ask the person you upset.

Take all the blame
If there are no excuses for your words or behavior, then don't make any. Don't blame the weather, don't blame your boss and don't blame the dog. This is your apology. Own it.

Timing is everything
It's usually best to apologize directly after your mistake. On the other hand, if you think the person is too angry or upset, it might be best to wait a while. The timing of your apology is up to you but, if you don't get it right, you risk making the person even more angry or upset than they were in the first place.

Say 'sorry'
Okay. You've worked out what you did wrong. You've chosen your time and your place. Now it's time to say those three, oh-so-difficult words, 'I am sorry.' Start by referring to what went wrong:
'About yesterday, when I forgot our anniversary . . .'
Once you've established the purpose of the conversation, apologize in clear, direct sentences. Admit what you did wrong, and admit the hurt you caused:
'I shouldn't have forgotten. It was awful of me. I know how much it hurt you.'
Then the magic words:
'I'm really, really sorry.'

Make up for your mistake
Saying sorry doesn't actually end with the word 'sorry.' Now you have to make amends. Explain what you are going to do to make it up to the person:
'I promise you, I'll never forget our anniversary again. To make up for yesterday, why don't we eat out at your favorite restaurant tonight? My treat.'
Once you've explained how you are going to make amends, then do it, and do it properly. Ensure that the dinner is exceptional. Don't forget next year's anniversary. Keeping promises is an essential part of a relationship, as well as being the crucial part of an apology.

Thank the person you hurt
Thank the person for forgiving you. Tell them how much they mean to you. Remember – apologizing isn't about making yourself feel better but the person you hurt. Say something like:
'You're my best friend. I never want to lose our friendship.'
'I really enjoy working with you. I'd hate it if we couldn't get along.'
'You're the love of my life. You mean everything to me.'
These six simple steps won't work, however, without one vital ingredient: sincerity. An insincere apology is not an apology at all. Above all else, be sincere.

4. Writing an apology 写道歉信

一种为某事真诚道歉的方法是给这个人写一封信或者邮件。这是一些写信的步骤。首先,称呼要简洁。

  • Dear Mr. Paulson, 亲爱的保尔森先生,

在信的开始,提及你写信来道歉的事实。

  • I wanted to write you a letter to apologize. 我想给你写信来道歉。
  • I am writing to apologize for the misunderstanding at the meeting. 我写信是为了在会议上的误解而道歉。

然后陈述你的错误。

  • I was way out of line accusing you of being dishonest. 我指责你不诚实太过分了。
  • We were all under a lot of pressure, but that's no excuse. 我们都有太多的压力,但是那不是藉口。
  • My actions were unacceptable. I hope you can forgive me. 我的行为是不可接受的。我希望你能原谅我。

接下来,保证不会再发生,并且你希望将来还能有更好的互动。

  • I can assure you that it won't happen again. 我向你保证以后不会再发生。
  • Please forgive me. I will not make the same mistake again. 请原谅我。我不会再犯同样的错误了。
  • I hope we can move beyond this. 我希望我们能够不计前嫌。

最后,用一个合适的短语结束写信,然后写你的名字。你可能想最后一次道歉。

  • Again, you have my sincere apology. 再次向你表达我真诚的歉意。
  • I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. 我希望你在心里能原谅我。
  • Sincerely, 此致,
  • EF student EF 学生

my apologies
From:
phil.blundell@bigcompany.com
To: peter.coates@bigcompany.com
Dear Peter,

Even though we talked, I am writing to apologize for the things I said in the office. I was way out of line talking about your personal life and your performance at work. You rightly pointed out that I am not your manager.
In my mind, I was trying to help, but that's no excuse. My actions were unacceptable, and I hope you can forgive me. I can assure you that it won't happen again. I hope we can move beyond this.
Again, you have my sincere apology.

Sincerely,
Phil


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